Me no concentration.

Hey everybody,
Been really busy the last few days, considering our present company. Even when I have time at the computer, everything takes me twice as long because of the distractions and noise of two playing kids. One of the kids being Jason of course. And then sometimes I can't help but join in the fun. ;)

First, updates on our kids in Estonia... The letter was translated into Russian and emailed to Dmitry, who will hopefully be able to get something done with it before Russia closes for their holidays on the 1st. They will be closed for about 2 weeks I think. It's POSSIBLE they could get it done by then. But I'm not really thinking it's likely. The Russians could ask for more backup documents, which would then have to be translated into Russian sent to them. So Diana is having Igor work on that now just in case. In the meantime, Dmitry and Diana both said they are very confident that this will work. But of course there are no guarantees. :( We'll just keep hoping. In the meantime the kids seem to still be doing well, although just as anxious.

I'll get some pictures up here of Sasha as soon as possible! Jason has to load them on the computer from his camera. Today I took a picture of her doing our dishes. We were just hanging out waiting till time to eat dinner, and there were a bunch of dishes from lunch and some left over from cookies we made last night. She just took herself to the sink and start washing them, humming and singing to herself, while she meticulously washed each item carefully, thoroughly washing it, and then smelling it to make sure it's clean before putting it in the drainer. She's so cute.

All the news from here. Stay tuned. :)
Love,
Molly

The good, the bad and the Oi.

OK, so, there is good news and bad news about the paperwork for the kids. Diana called me today and said she found out from Dmitry that he went to the MOE and they are being friendly and cooperative with him. Bad news is the letter that the MSA sent was ONLY in Estonian and English. Not Russian. ?!?!?!?!?! Diana is really irritated, to say the least!!!! Don't know why they did that. The MOE asked for a Russian translation to be just emailed over to them so they have it. Sounds like perhaps there won't be a problem getting the release once they have the Russian version. Don't know for sure, but that sounds like how it's going.

Dmitry is also back and forth to Moscow so much in the near future that he can do whatever needs to be done himself. The only thing we're concerned about, as far as timing goes, is hopefully getting this done before the MOE goes on their holiday in January.

Today was still good with Sasha. This morning Jason went to a friend's school (Julia) to be presented as Julia's "special friend". She read a report about him and why he is her friend and why he's special. LOL So this morning Sasha was up and dressed before I was, so I dragged myself out of bed and got us some cereal. She took a shower herself, made her bed, and everything else again. After we ate breakfast, she watched tv for a little while so I could take out the dogs and do some work. Then she got bored and started walking around the house, so I got out this colored sculpting clay and Paint-by-Number things for us to play with. She loved that. We did that for a couple hours. Then she started running around, tickling me, giggling, and massive amounts of energy. I wore out at about the time she asked me if we could prepare in advance our lunch so when Jason got home at about noon, it would be ready. She even walked outside and came back in, pretending to be Jason noticing a lunch already made, so I would understand what she was wanting to do. She helped me cook lunch, and then Jason took over playing with her after lunch so I could do some other stuff. Then we went back to Julia's school to watch Julia perform in a play about the different regions of the US. TWICE Julia said the forbidden word (adoption) in front of Sasha. I think my face almost melted off I was so embarrassed, worried that Sasha understood the word and misunderstood what Julia was saying. But Sasha didn't appear to notice.

This evening at the dinner-time prayer she said "AMEN!" at the end, all proud of herself for remembering what to say at the end of prayers, from hearing us say it a few times now.

Her English is fantastic for so soon. She reads signs while we're driving down the road. It's pretty funny. We quiz her by saying words in Russian and she'll say them in English, or vice-versa, so we know she understands what the words mean. We had to explain not to say this one word whisker she has, which sounds exactly like "sh**". She didn't know that it sounded like a bad word in English. When we told her, she covered her mouth and went, with a high pitched voice, "Oi!"

Anyway, it's a lot of fun. Last night our friend Marissa (Julia's older sister) was really enjoying listening to Sasha talk in Russian, explaining Russian words for some of what we were saying (like "how are you" and different animals and colors). Marissa said, "This is so cool! Can we get one?" hahaha

Nothing else to report. Sasha is really good therapy for us during this difficult time. We really miss the kids. We'll talk to them on the phone again on Saturday hopefully. Also we're due to receive a letter in the mail from them any day, along with one from Anna their former caretaker. I'll let ya know!

Love,
Molly

You are a fat duck.

Hey all!
Still no news from Diana. I will call or email her tomorrow to say "WHAT IS GOING ON?!" I'll keep ya posted. SOOOO frustrating!!!!!!

Q&A time... Sasha is 10 years old. She will be 11 in May. The program is called New Horizons for Children. It's based out of Atlanta, and it is a strictly host-only program, even though all the children who come are orphans who live in orphanages (and sometimes foster homes). They have a coordinator here in PA for northeast families. The kids fly into JFK and then continue to ATL or Washington DC for other families in those areas. Since it is a host-only program, it is allowed by these countries who do not allow pre-selection of children available for adoption. Because of that, to protect the program, the kids are NOT told that they may find an adoptive family in the process of their visit. They might, and they might not. In fact no one is even allowed to mention the word "adoption" in front of her, just to prevent misunderstandings and possible false hopes. The children may or may not even be officially available for adoption. In Sasha's case, she tells us she has 2 brothers and a sister. We don't know their ages, if they are available for adoption, or if they have to be adopted together. No idea! A lot of times, though, people do host with the hope of continuing on to adopt the child they host, and the host program people know that and don't discourage it. On an official front, though, it is JUST for a visit. But it's great for families looking to choose a child to adopt, because the family can really get to know the children in their own home for several weeks. And then during the adoption process can re-host them in the summer and again the following winter while the process takes a thousand years. The program also interviews the kids individually and tries to rule out RAD and other behavioral disorders.

Today Sasha really got comfortable with us I think. We went shopping for some dress clothes and shoes, and she seemed to have fun trying on dresses. She's not extremely girly, but seemed to have a lot of fun. She doesn't always give definitive answers about whether she likes something or not. I have to ask "Yes, no, or ehhhhh?" She will shrug and go "I don't know" and then go "OK" if it's fine, or she'll shrug and go "I don't know" and then shake her head if she doesn't like it. She quietly giggles in between the shrug and the giggle.

Then later I started tickling her (kind of out of nowhere), and she turned into this crazy hyper playful laughing silly thing! She started tickling both of us, running away to escape all over the house, screaming if we suddenly got too close and almost caught her, and laughing till she couldn't breathe. So for about an hour we played tag, pillow fight, tickling like crazy games around the house. Then Jason went outside to play more tag, kick the soccer ball and throw the football. So you know Jason loved all that activity!

Oh yeah, and she made us breakfast this morning, after getting up and making her bed and taking a shower. She put a bunch of olive oil in a pan, cracked 4 eggs into it, cooked it for several minutes, sprinkled cut up ham on top, cut it into 3 parts, put it on plates, squirted ketchup on it... Then got out forks for each bowl, set them on the table with napkins, got out the bread, put butter on 3 pieces along with a slice of American cheese on each, and got me to microwave it until it was melted. Then she sat us on each side of her at the table and we all ate. You have to remember in your imagination, though, that does not behave arrogantly or over confidently at all, isn't extremely outgoing and sure of herself, and asked every step of the way "OK?" to make sure we wouldn't get mad. We just let her do what she was going to do, under supervision, to see what she'd do.

The food wasn't bad, by the way, even though I thought some of it was going to be gross.

She also is already using quite a bit of English for less than 24 hours here. She already knew 1-12 in English and recognizes other numbers in spoken English, as well as "My name is Sasha", "Hello", "Yes", "No", "Dog", "Cat", and other words like that. Now she uses sentences including "What is this" and "This is a"... And says "I'm sleepy". When she was playing today, she said "Ya ne Rooski, Ya American!", which means "I'm not Russian, I'm American!"

At Letty's house today she entertained the kids with oragami boats and teaching them lots of Russian words. They taught her a lot of English too I think. At one point she ran up to me, laughing histarically into my arm because Julia repeated a Russian phrase incorrectly and it sounded really funny. The kids all are so comfortable trying out the words, so it was just laughs all the time. Josephine, the 6 year old, kept talking to Sasha like she didn't understand the language barrier. She asked her once "Can't you hear???" LOL She also would say things like "Do you know how to say blowdryer?" Or say long strands of sentences to her that Sasha obviously wouldn't understand. Sasha would smile and say softly with a giggle, in Russian, "Not understand."

There were several other language related entertaining things that happened today, like her calling everyone a fat animal of one kind or another, and didn't know that Jason knew what the Russian word for "fat" was, so it became this big joke afterwards where she kept saying "Talsty Cat, Talsty Dog, Talsty Duck!". I think it all came about because Joanie said "It's a tad toasty in here," and Sasha thought she said "It's a cat talsty (obese) in here" and Sasha laughed. So then someone became an obese cat, and so on it went.

OK time to turn off Spongebob and go to sleepy!

Love,
Molly

What time is it?

No news on the kids' paperwork. Diana called Dmitri Monday and he was in a meeting and said he'd call her back, and as of then I haven't heard from anyone. I didn't bother calling Diana again yesterday because I know she is really swamped and would call me if there was anything to report. So as far as we assume, the letter arrived in Moscow and they will soon (if they haven't started already) be taking it to the MOE. We (wait for it... here it comes again!!.....) hope we'll hear something soon.

In the meantime, we received Sasha last night at JFK from St. Petersburg, Russia. For those of you who don't remember or didn't notice when I posted about her, she's visiting us for 4 weeks through a host program. She came along with about 120 other kids from Latvia and Russia. We were called to be a backup family for a family who couldn't host her after all. We're so glad they missed out! She is so sweet.

At the airport the flight came in at about 6:15, but they didn't get through customs and come out till almost 7:30. She was ushered into the arrival waiting area with a bunch of other kids and immediately noticed our poster with "Welcome SASHA!" and her picture on it. She smiled and came over right away. We hugged her (she didn't hug back- which we expected that. None of the kids from Eastern Europe seem to know how to hug at first!). She just smiled big and giggled.

She is shy, like she's uncertain about what to say or do, and about asking for something. You know how someone can be shy and act indifferent or disinterested, or someone can be shy and sit and smile cutely? She's the second. She seems concerned to do the right thing, but started talking pretty quickly. Of course we don't understand everything she says. But she talks anyway. She corrects our Russian pronunciation, in a bashful way. It's very funny. I told Jason she actually reminds me of ME as a child. (Not that I'm saying I was cute and sweet. But I was! ;) ) She also reminds me of Tristan (my nephew). She makes this funny face when she says something and she's not sure how to explain it, where she blinks a couple times and shrugs and laughs quietly. I told Jason later that I finally realized that those kinds of mannerisms remind me of Tristan.

When we got home, she unpacked and neatly folded her clothes and put them away, then sat on her bed quietly waiting for us to tell her what else to do. So we got her changed, teeth brushed and into bed. She's very agreeable and so far seems extremely easy to get along with.

Today I have a couple of appointments but we have to take her shopping for a few more clothes and do some arts and crafts for fun. We'll probably also take her over to Letty's house to play with Joanie and Julia. She's still asleep now (or maybe not sure if she's allowed to get up? LOL). She is probably really tired from traveling over 24 hours to get here. It's 5pm where she lives, which means when we went to bed it was 8am for her. She slept in the car a lot on the way home.

All for now!
Love,
Molly

Little bombs - Good idea!

We found out yesterday that the MSA had just sent the letter to Dmitry (finally!) YESTERDAY. So hopefully he got it today and will be able to take it to the MOE tomorrow. I don't know why they were so stinking slow getting it mailed out. They knew about this since 11/17, found out on 11/27 that Dmitry was going to be in Moscow on 12/1, and they didn't write the letter and send it out till 12/10?! C'mon people, this is important! I know they probably had some legitamate delays or whatever- all the official channels and approvals and translations and this and that... But still!

We keep saying everyday "Maybe we'll hear something tomorrow..." So at this point I don't really expect to (because we never do!) but I'll let you know if we do hear something tomorrow.

Now, to answer the question of many of you: Katya's comment about having a big family and always wanting to have a sister comes from the conversations we've had with them about whether or not they want more siblings in the future. They've asked more than once if we will adopt more kids or have kids, and told us that they want a big family if possible. We told them that we do plan on having more kids, especially since they want more siblings.

Roman told us that he wouldn't mind having another sister so Katya can share her room with a girl and he can share his room with a dog. LOL He's so funny. And so random! I got an email from him (addressed to me in response to an email I sent to him just from me) this morning that said: "I wanted to have skis for a long time and I would like so much to ride a bike and I love you mom so much and I want to live with you very soon and when we get money we will go to buy little bombs."

Naturally, we have no idea what he's talking about. We'll ask him on Saturday when we call them.

:)

Love,
Molly

Why do "caretaker" and "caregiver" mean the same thing?

Hey everyone,
We got letters from the kids, and from their former caretaker. See below. :)

No news yet from Dmitry. The MSA has been really slow actually sending the letter to him, but we are pretty optimistic that he will be able to get this done when he does finally get to go. We hope we'll hear something useful this week, but we may not. Tired of hoping, I wanna see something actually go well!!!

More later if we hear anything...
Love,
Molly

***

Hello mom and dad

we are so happy that you want to have more kids. it is so nice to have a big and caring family.

I always wanted to have a sister. we told you before that we moved to different place because our group has to be closed. we are very happy that you never forget about us. please do not worry about us we believe that pretty soon we going to be together. we just have to wait a little bit longer. now we have new caregiver but we keeping coming back to our old place to see our old caregiver that has been with us for more than 5 years.

it is real winter here we have snow for 2 days now. is is a perfect time for sliding down . it first is kinda scary at first but that it is such a fun after all. we love you so much, please do not forget us ever .

katya

Hello mom and dad it has been a week since we live in new place in Nim. Our group going to be closed on Dec,1st that is why we had to move to the different children home. now we got new caregiver her name is .... ( I can not understand her name I think she might have Estonian name???) Here is only 6 children with us, if not count ourselves - there would be 1 boy and 3 other girls. I live with Yuriy he is 16 years old. Not far away from our place is big pine forest and big hill. We slide down from that hill on slides yesterday. We have snow here and frost too. temperature is freezing. What weather do you have there? Do you have snow at winter? When you going to come? We miss you so much and wait for you to come. With love, Roman

Good day Jason and Molly

this is Anna caregiver of Katya and Roman. my English is not very good that is why I am writing in Russian. As your children wrote you before our group is closing on December first and children had been transferred to different orphanage. This decision was unrespectable for all of us and was worrying a lot because I got so attached to the Roman and Katya. I have known them for 5.5 years since they came to our orphanage in June 6th 2003. together we got through a lot of challenges and difficulties and achieved a lot of success.

sometimes I think i gave them more time than my own daughter. Katya has a very open personality that is why she can easy fit and adjust herself in new places and can find connections with new people too. Roman is opposite he is holding everything inside him. He will open up only for people to whom he can trust.

but please do not worry to much about them, I am going to support them as much as I can. I visit with them and they come over on my work days. they really need your support though. they always wait for your letters so much and very hope that soon they will be with you. they get through all difficulties in their life only because of this hope. it very important for them to know that there are some people who love them and want them. that some day they will have a real family. I am very sorry about that complications with their papers. I learned myself that they are Russian citizens only one year ago, their social worker never mentioned it before.

if you have any questions you can write them on my email address
With best wishes,
Anna.
***

(Note: By the way, they did know about the citizenship a long time ago, but it was never a problem till recently. The judge in Estonia is the one that is requiring the release from Russia, because of recent scandals about this kind of thing. That info provides a little new understanding - whatever is ok with the judge to allow the adoption will work fine. Right now he is saying a letter from the Embassy releasing them from citizenship so they can get Estonian citizenship, OR a letter from the MOE saying that they can be adopted as Russian citizens through Estonian court.)

To Russia, with love. (Not.)

We talked to the kids on the phone this afternoon. They seem to be doing well. They keep asking if we know when court will be, or if not if we have a guess. They are so anxious to come home!! Roman talked a lot more this time. He told us that he won an art contest at school for a drawing he did, and it is on display somewhere with all of the other entries. And because he won the grand prize, he got 500EEK ($50) to spend on school supplies for himself. :) He also wanted us to remind him if we have dogs. We told him that we have 2 dogs, and that he can see pictures of them in the album we gave them when we visited. I think he remembered about that when we mentioned it. He asked if he can have a dog sleep in his room and we said we may be able to allow that (since DogDog is so good when he's out of his crate, sometimes we let him sleep on the floor in our room). He was very excited about having dogs. We said we're happy he likes dogs, and he said that he doesn't just like dogs, he adores them. LOL We reminded him that we have dogs visiting for training, too, because that's what we do for our job. He said (in Russian) "Ooooh Wow! I see!" He was very excited. So cute.

He also said that he wanted to tell us the Leprechauns came. Larisa didn't know what he meant, and naturally neither did we. So we asked what he meant, and he said, "Don't you know about the Leprechauns? Don't you have them? They bring candy!" We said we don't have Leprechauns that bring candy, we just go to the store to buy candy. He said, "Oh... Well I'll tell you a secret. I don't really think they are real Leprechauns. I think they are really people dressed up to bring us candy." We laughed and told him that he is very smart.

At the end of the conversation he said he wanted to tell us that they miss us VERY very much and love us VERY very much and they want to be with us soon. Larisa laughed and said he's so polite.

Katya was a little less talkative today. We asked her if she was alright, and she said she is just very sad that she's not with us. We told her that we are sad too, but when she gets sad just think about all the wonderful things she will experience after we are together as a family and try to be happy. She said "OK, I will try to be happy!"

After last weekend's conversation on the phone with them, she was really talkative at first and quiet at the end of the conversation, so we'd asked her in an email why she was quiet at the end. She wrote back "I don't know, I just feel sad ("ОБИДНО", here means sad or offended, it's not fair, insulted) because I am not with you and I really want to be with you." So we know that if she's quiet, that's why.

Just thought you'd all like to know about our conversation. The made us laugh a lot. :)

So the MSA in Estonia sent the letter to Dmitry to take to the MOE in Moscow. After much fussing about what it should say and in what language. The MSA emailed Diana a draft, in poor English, and asked if they could send it in English. Diana added a couple items to the letter and said it should be written in Estonian with an official Russian translation attached, that they should NOT send it in English. Why would they send it in English?! That's like me sending something to Canada in Chinese because it has to do with children from America going to China. Then they said since it's going in Russian, maybe they should attach all the other documents related to the children (14 pages) and have them translated in Russian too (a month of waiting and $1000). So Diana (along with our approval of her decision) said no way, we'll wait and see if the MOE asks for any backup documents. But don't waste time and money that may not be necessary to spend. Just send the stinking letter to the Dmitry!!!

So this coming up week he should be taking it to the MOE, and I don't know if we'll hear something right away or not. We'll see.

Now you're all caught up!

Sasha (visiting little girl from Russia hosting group) gets here on the 16th, so that will be fun. She's one of 122 kids coming over on a hosting trip from Latvia and St. Petersburg. I'll keep you all posted. :)

Love,
Molly

"Just call me Abba"

Just a quick post, off-subject of adoption, but still important.

One of my best friends of about 15 years, Tabitha, passed away this morning after several years battling with cancer. She was 29 years old.

Please pray for her husband and parents. She married Jeff 10 years ago, I think, after knowing him her whole life, and was an only child. She was a unique and hilarious person and we'll all miss her very much. I'll always remember her the way she was - laughing loudly, dancing, talking funny just to be silly, making up words in a uniquely trend-setting sort of way... My sister-in-law mentioned that still a lot of the phrases and jokes we use came from her.

Very sad news for me and for my family, who all loved her.

No star wars reference today.

Thank for the nice comments on the last post. :)

Dmitri is actually visiting the US for Thanksgiving (he has family in DC apparently). He visited Myrtle Beach to see Diana and her family yesterday and that's when they planned to discuss Dmitri's schedule for going to Moscow. She wrote me last night to tell me that he would be in Moscow on Monday. So Signe and them will be sending the letter to his Moscow office (hopefully right away this coming week) so he can walk it into Moscow while he's there. I'm guessing he'll be there for a week or two, to receive the letter and take it to the MOE.

I'll keep ya posted.

Love,
Molly

Help me Obi-Wan Dmitri, you're my only hope.

Hi everyone. So sorry for not keeping in touch like I should. It's been a rough 3 weeks! We did get another letter in the mail from the kids, so I'll post that on here as soon as I can find it again. We got our friend Larisa to translate it again.

Since the last post we also talked to the kids on the phone twice. The first time was for about 45 minutes (with Larisa on 3-way to translate) and the second time was about 15 minutes. The first time the kids were energetic, talkative and sweet. They said lots of nice things. Katya asked permission to wear longer earrings, but she wanted to make sure it was ok with us first. I thought that was so cute. The second conversation was a little different - the kids seemed to have a lot on their mind. They told us that they were getting moved to another orphanage in Tallinn because some of the kids were getting shuffled around to make room for other kids. They said they were a little nervous, but knew things would be ok. We got so upset for them, because that shouldn't have even been necessary.

They were moved last Friday and we got an email from them Monday with their new address and phone number as they promised.

Now for the paperwork mess:
There was no news and no news and no news for weeks while Estonia tried to work with the Russian Embassy to get the kids released. They weren't having success, so on Monday the 10th Diana told them that she thought it was time to get her people to take care of it. They agreed, but also told Diana that the Embassy told them that one thing that COULD be done right away is to (... hold your breath...) send the kids to live in a RUSSIAN ORPHANAGE and adopt them through Russia. Gasp. Diana ranted and raved to Signe and then to us, saying that that is a terrible idea. The kids would have to go over the border to the closest region to Estonia, to a place they've never been, to live with people they don't know, be put on the Russian adoption database (mandatory 6 month wait after that before they can be adopted), and then WE would have to do an entire new homestudy and dossier for Russia. So we said that's not an option, they have to figure out a way to get them adopted through Estonia.

We spent the rest of that week freaking out about the idea of having to go to Russia. Diana reassured us that that was always a worst case scenario, not the current recommendation. That only did a little to help our feelings about it.

So then this past Monday, Diana forwarded me an email that Kersti (Signe's helper) sent her, which said:
"I contacted Russia , concerning Shitov siblings they want our Ministry to send official letter with explanation of situation and they will give their consent for adoption.

As far as I understand then we can adopt them through Estonia if they give us permission."

Diana contacted her top coordinator in Russia, named Dmitri (who incidentally is the one that works in the nearest region to Estonia, called Pskov), who will hand deliver this explanation letter to the MOE (Ministry of Education) in Moscow, and hopefully get the letter approving them for Estonian adoption shortly thereafter. Dmitri has many contacts at the MOE, so Diana is optimistic that this will work. She said nothing works in Russia without contacts and/or other means of motivation. So Dmitri will do what it takes.

We are trying to stay positive, but it's very hard because honestly we know that there is chance that none of this will work. But we have to try everything.

In the meantime, (sort of off subject), we were called on to be a backup family for this hosting program that's going on 12/15 to 1/15. A hosting program is not an adoption program, but it's where orphans from another country (in this case Latvia and Russia) come for a visit to live with an American family as sort of a cultural exchange. Most of them are available for adoption also, but the primary purpose is for hosting. Adoption is sometimes a by-product of it, sometimes by a family who meets a host child while they are in the US. Not always by the family hosting. Anyway, we were recommended by someone to be used as a backup family, which means if a child's host family suddenly couldn't do the program, that we would be called on to host the child at no charge because the other family had already paid for the child's travel. We agreed to be a backup because we figured it would be fun to have a kid here for a few weeks, even just as a temporary fun thing to do.

So we got a call earlier this week that a 10 year old girl needs to be moved because her host family has a major health issue going on. So we may have a visiting Russian girl next month. That's kind of exciting at least. But (note to the local family!)- no getting attached. She is only here for a visit. :)

All for now. I have a cold and a lot of work to do today, but I wanted to go ahead and update you all. More later, I promise. Diana should be talking more to Dmitri tomorrow.

Love,
Molly

Sweet kids

Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't posted anything in a couple weeks. I was in SC for a few days and also trying to get some dogs in here for training so we can make some money! It's been really slow the last couple months. Things seem to pick up and then slow down again. I think November will be better but still slow.

Not much going on with the process of Katya and Roman's release. We are supposed to get an update soon. In the meantime, we have been hearing from the kids a LOT. We got another set of letters from them in the mail. We had sent them envelopes with our address on them along with money for postage, and they sent one of those envelopes back to us almost right away. We will probably get more letters from them soon too. We told them to send letters, even if they couldn't get them translated first, and we would translate them here. We took pictures of the letters and emailed them to a Russian friend we've made over the last few months, and she wrote out what they said.

They say:
Hello mom and dad thank you for the money that you sent us I spent them so quick. At first I was taking by 10 Kroons to buy sweets and than rest 50 Kroons I spent on the ticket to children disco. Now I try to speak a little bit in English and hope that this quarter I will have a good grade. In a week we will have a fall school break. Thank you so much for everything, you are the best parents. We love you and wait for you. I am sending you flowers that I made by myself for you. I love you , Katya


HELLO mom and dad, Thank you for the letter and money that you sent to us with Katya. At first I bought some candies on them so I can give a treats to my classmates on my birthday. For the rest of money I got a ticket for a ice-skating ring. We celebrated my birthday at my group and I had 12 people that came for my birthday. My educator (or activity director) made a pizza and cake by herself we put eleven candles on the top of the cake and I could blow out them at first try! My guests were friends and students that I know for 5 years. I am doing good at school even with a math my grades are better this quarter that were last year. I am waiting so much for our documents to be ready so we can be with you.
With love, Roman

They sent little drawings and artwork things, and the flowers Katya refers to are these little green beads on wires that are twisted into flower shapes. Very cute. :)

We also get cute little emails from them very often, about every other day. They say they have been practicing English and if we want to call them then they will talk to us more in English. We plan to call them next week so we'll let you know how that goes!

One of the recent emails said:
You the most best parents
We love you very much
We can't be without you
We have sent you mail
We also miss you
We wait for you so much
Come soon.

Very sweet kids, huh? :) We feel so sad for them for having to wait. More sad than we are for ourselves.

Also recently Katya wrote back to an email Jason sent them telling them about the 6k race he ran in a couple weeks ago. She wrote that she is also fast and can beat Roman and Jason. LOL

I guess they don't suffer from an extremely low self esteem. ;)

More as we hear it, as always...
Molly

Neverending story

Hi all,
In answer to everyone's question: No they don't know how long it will take to do the next step. Signe says she has no idea. But she did ask Diana to help as much as she can with her contacts in Russia, so hopefully that will speed it up.
No other real news. We still might go on a trip to visit them, but we have to wait and see how things are going with the process and hopefully find out more about how long it will take before we plan.
As always I'll keep you all posted!
Love,
Molly

First part done!

Hey all,
We got a little news today. Diana forwarded this message from Signe:

"The Russian passpost has been issued for now and we go on with prosess to give up Russian citizenship and issue Estonian one."

More news as we get it!

Love,

Molly

Letters and emails!

Hey everyone! No news on the kids' papers, but we did get new emails and letters in the mail!!

We just sent them last week letters along with envelopes with money for postage, and extra money for each of them to spend on whatever they want (the equivalent of $10 each of the Estonian money we had left over). I guess they didn't need the postage because before they received the money they had already sent us another letter. But maybe they'll send more now that they can give the money and envelope to anyone.

Here's what the email said:
Thanks for the cash you us have very much pleased
We want that you were our parents

And the letters we got from them today say this:

Hello, Mum and Dad!
Thank you very much for the ball, a hat, chocolate, Orbit. Biscuits I keep for my guests who will come to my birthday on 12 October.
I visit trainings every day during 2 hours. On Fridays we play with other teams, we have won 5 games and lost only one!
At the end of October, when we have holidays at school, we will go to Sillamae town (North Estonia) for several days. There we will have some games with other football teams.
Katja and I are waiting when the trial begins. It was said, that we must wait a little, because we have no passport and there are some problems with getting this passport.
I want to meet all our relatives and be friends with them.
Miss you very much, love you,
Roma

(Clarification: Orbit is gum. Biscuits are Oreos. LOL "Trial" is our court date. Trainings are soccer practice. Roman is turning 11 years old on Sunday.)

Hello, Mum and Dad!
Today we got a parcel from you, thank you very much! We are very happy! Especially I am thankful for earrings, they are really beautiful.
I do not go to school now, because of being ill, I had a cough and a temperature. But now I am getting well again and on Monday will go to school.
I also visit some extra lessons to learn faster English!
Roma and I are very often thinking of you, missing you. Wait and it is sure we come.
I liked your photos very much, especially Mummy's one, where she is near the seashore. She is very beautiful there.
Thank you for Katja's and Masha's photos, they look very happy. Masha looks like her sisters. Send them my regards.
We also send our photos. We went to Poltsamaa (south Estonia) for autumn days. We played there and had some competitions.
Love you very much,
Katja

(Clarification: Katja and Masha are their friends who were adopted by a family in Texas last June, remember. Camp in South Estonia or Katya being sick must've been the reason we were not getting emails from them for a couple weeks.)

Here are the pictures they sent, and the artwork they drew for us.












I assume the extra people on the left is a boy from their camp and a teacher. I think Katya's animal picture is a cat or a bear. Very cute. :) Roman appears to like abstract artwork. Interesting!

It was so nice to hear from them. We miss them so much! They are so sweet.

That's all for now.

Love,
Molly

We want quickly a life

Hey all,
We haven't heard any news from Diana since Friday. I am trying not to call her because even if I do, it won't help. If there is any news, she'll call me. Asking questions rarely gets us anywhere.
But we did get emails from the kids finally so I thought I'd let you know what they said:

"We also you love we very much without you miss we want quickly a life with you." (or, "to live with you")
"We have you sent letters with almost you have received or not." (They sent letters and want to know if we received them yet)
"Thanks for gifts we are glad. Greetings forward to Masha and Katia I am very happy for them. Mom, can you ask Masha’s email address for me, I want that her and I start to write to each other."
(Masha and Katia, remember, are their friends from their group who were adopted in June by a family in Texas. We met Katia while we were in Estonia.)

All for now. Nothing else to report. Still trying to hang in there! It really helps to hear from the kids.
When we get news, more emails, or the letters they mentioned, we'll let you know!

Love,
Molly

Step Five.

I said it before, I'll say it again... Adoption is only for the thick skinned and those who are masters at the 5 steps of coping:

Step 1: Denial
Step 2: Anger
Step 3: Depression
Step 4: Bargaining
Step 5: Acceptance

I'm sorry for not posting recently. It's been a rough week of trying to find out any details from Estonia about what's going on. Diana has been breathing down their necks like crazy and finally heard from Signe via email yesterday the following:

According Estonan Cityzenship Act child can have citizenship if there is clear h ehas no right to some other cityzenship. In our case the children has right to mother’s cityzenship and we have to fallow the Russian demands. Right now the application has been given to Russioan Embassy (in the first week of September) and next step is to give up the Russian citizenship on the reason to have Estonian one.

I will keep you informed about the situation.

So basically they're back to square one because Russia has a claim to their citizenship. At least they're not further behind because they continued the Russian application just in case Estonian naturalization wasn't going to work. Legally it might have been possible to get Estonian citizenship first and bypass the Russian process, but they say that the interpretation of the law is different depending on who you ask. Therefore they would hit roadblocks trying to do it that way. So now they'll go for the Russian citizenship, get it dissolved or signed away by Russia so then they satisfy the Russian requirements to have received that citizenship first, and THEN they will apply for Estonian citizenship. Then they have to get passports, then we have to wait for a court date. Yeah.

We finally have resigned ourselves to the realization that we aren't getting the information and answers we want. We just have to wait, and it will likely be several months from the way it sounds. We're just expecting the worst at this point. We've gone through the whole rants of "I can't handle weeks of not knowing how long it will take, week after week waiting for something to happen!", and that is not going to get us anywhere. What are ya gonna do? So we've just decided to expect it to take forever and then if it does, that's what we were planning for.

Don't know what we're gonna do in the meantime. We might go visit them in the winter when we're slow with work. Depends on what happens between now and then.

The only good thing is that everyone is still adamant about one thing: We will get the kids. That is not in question. It's just a matter of when. We might need to update our dossier. We might need to get an addendum for our home study and a new USCIS approval because Katya will be 13 next June and if there's a risk of it taking that long we need a new approval because currently we're only approved up to age 12. But that's only an issue if it takes until next year to get this done. So we'll see. It's all just paperwork, not anything failure-related. Unless you consider the longest ever Estonian adoption to be a failure! But MAYBE it won't be. (Oh wait, that's step 1... Oops.)

So that's the latest. I didn't want to talk about it all week, so forgive me for being in hiding. I wanted to hear something better before I updated everyone.

To answer other questions: We've not heard from the kids at all in 2 weeks. They haven't been on the computer at all, I assume because of school. I know they haven't been on the computer because Katya hasn't logged into her limpa.ru account (that social networking site like myspace.com), which I know she would have done had she accessed a computer at all!

I'll keep you all posted. Hang in there with me, all you emotionally invested blog obsessed readers! ;)

Love,
Molly

The pot's still not boiling.

No recent news really. The relative joy of the good news last Monday quickly went away later in the week as the feeling returned that nothing has really changed for all intents and purposes. We still don't know how long this is going to take and whether it will be pretty simple and trouble-free. I guess we can't be told the latter, but the former we would like at least a guess! Diana is working on getting the Estonians to find out a general range so we have a basic idea.

Meanwhile, Jason has trouble maintaining confidence that we will EVER get the kids, despite what we are told. So the battle to stay positive is a constantly fought one. It's just a tough situation to be in... hands tied, no kids, waiting waiting, waiting. We did get into this for the purpose of adopting a child, not to be committed to unavailable kids. But that's what we are.

Well... technically they're not "unavailable." They are just suffering the same delay we suffer, but probably with even less knowledge and maybe with less worry than we have. Their emails lately have been pretty much the same. They told us in one that they can write us a letter to send in the mail if they can write it in Russian. We told them they can write it in Russian and we'll get it translated here. I kind of think that that's why we haven't gotten anything else in the mail from them - maybe no one has been around to translate the letter for them like the first one was. I think we might be getting pictures in the mail from them soon, though. One of their emails said something like that.

All for now. If anything is new I'll post it here right away. But in the meantime, try not to worry and try not to be so anxious.

We have a distraction for now, though - a close friend is going through stress and heartbreak of a different kind, of similar severity. So tears and hugs all around!

Love,
Molly

Breaking news!

We got an email from Diana about a half hour ago. It says:

Molly,
It looks like they are moving towards getting the kids their Estonian citizenship! I don't know what exactly prompted this, your research, my hounding, or maybe a bit of both. I am sure they did their own research as well. I will keep you posted but today is a good day.
Diana

I called Diana after getting her email. She answered "I was expecting to hear from you any minute!" Probably because I always call her right after she sends me an interesting email. LOL

She said she is so happy that they are doing this because it's so much easier and more potential to be fast than the other way. Her exact words were "Thank GOD!"

Hopefully we'll know more later this week about time line. In addition to the websites that Kathy found (thanks again Kathy!!), we also found the official Estonian citizenship gov't website. It said the same things that the other websites said, including the official process for stateless kids under 15, with forms and everything. It did say that it can take up to 3 months for the application to be reviewed. But maybe it'll be faster having another gov't agency getting it done instead of just some other random Estonian citizen applying for them.

So, I'll take that as good news. We needed some!

Love,
Molly

"The things seen are temporary..."

OK Sorry! We have been hearing things all week, but really very little has changed. Diana has been staying on top of everyone in Estonia, so she's keeping the fire hot underneath them.

Here's the deal for now:
Diana has told us that she is 100% sure that this adoption WILL happen, and not to worry that this is a potential failure type thing. This is just another piece of paperwork and a delay.

The Estonian citizenship by naturalization IS a possibility. Apparently, based on the official Estonian and Russian gov't websites, they are entitled to either citizenship. Problem is, which one is quicker to get??? It might be that the Russian citizenship and being released from it might be quicker than the Estonian. With the Estonian process, they would have to apply through their guardianship authority (orphanage/the state), and it takes approximately 3 months for the application to be processed and approved or denied. Ugh.

So currently Signe is investigating the options and finding out which is the quickest and easiest way. Also involved, possibly, are any diplomatic concerns... So inevitably whatever keeps people from getting mad is also going to be what is done... But it will be done one way or the other.

We are still unclear on what exactly the problem is. The main reason is because the problem is stupid. We're not even sure if the problem is based on an actual law. There is no law, that we can find, that says that a stateless child cannot be adopted. Diana thinks that the problem may be that after their adoption, they can't get immigration stuff done at the US Embassy without a current passport, which they can't get without a citizenship.

Correction: They CAN get an alien passport as a stateless person.
Correction: They CAN'T get an alien passport, because they can possibly obtain travel documents through acquisition of citizenship through a country.

So who knows what is actually the real issue. Bottom line, a citizenship will take care of the problem.

Diana also explained that in the culture, laws are not all there is... For instance, the US is bound by the Hague convention, and so is Estonia. Which means any Hague accredited agency CAN have an adoption program in Estonia... But just because it's legal, doesn't mean Estonia will allow it or will give that agency any children to place. They don't have to do it just because it's legal. It's about connections, trust, social relations... Not just if there is a law that prohibits something or not.

So at this point there is no need for us to hire an attorney over there or anything like that. Even if we find out that there is no legal requirement for any of this. Doesn't matter - this is what they feel needs to be done in order to prevent... something... I don't know what.

Don't try to understand ridiculous un-understandableness. It doesn't work.

But for now, at least we know (or at least are repeatedly assured), this is temporary and will be fixed, if it's the last thing we all do!

In the meantime, we sent a package to the kids with gifts and letters. The letter we had professionally translated to make sure it's completely accurate because we explained the delay in more detail and told them not to worry.

We got emails from them earlier this week. Their response to our email briefly letting them know that there is a delay with their documents and not to worry was "OK We love". Then they asked about their friend "Masha", who was adopted by a family in Texas last June. We told them how she is doing. Katya wrote back "I would like to see her, Masha was my best friend." How cute. :)

Oh also Katya tells us her ears are pierced now. So we sent her earrings. Cute little flower ones. :) And in the letter we told Roman to make sure he doesn't get his ears pierced too!

All for now, I'll keep you posted when we learn more.

Love,
Molly

This crazy mess.

Hi everyone. I'm going to stab at answering your questions. First of all, thanks very much for all your help, research, support, calls and emails. It's great to have so many people looking out for us!!

We know that someone is going to tell the kids what's going on and not to worry. We don't know anything more than that. We will be sending them letters the encourage them also. We bought them some goodies today to send to them along with letters.

I don't know if the kids can get the citizenship by naturalization because of being stateless and parentless, as mentioned in Kathy's posts. That very well may be the rule that recently changed. The problem is that the mother's citizenship is KNOWN, which under the current rules, may mean that the kids technically aren't stateless, which would mean that they have to finalize their would-be Russian citizenship before they can be adopted. As for why they have to get a citizenship and then relinquish it or get permission to be released from it, I don't know. It makes no sense. I hope to find out more details on Monday.

The Estonian constitution says that any person (not citizen. Person.) has the right to leave Estonia. Fine, but then how do they get into another country? They need a passport or something, yes?

So if the kids are indeed considered stateless under current rules (parents being dead/removed of parental rights), then maybe they can be given Estonian citizenship. We have to find out. Additionally, if it can be found out that the birth father was an Estonian citizen, then they have Estonian citizenship that way. Both scenarios may not be possible.

The other thing we know is that, in addition to people over there being slow, they don't really want to have to deal with the Russians. So Diana said that if they don't want to deal with the Russians themselves, she will do it. She has high-up Russian friends and can get the people at the Russian embassy to release their citizenship. Diana said she would do absolutely whatever it takes to get this taken care of as quickly as possible, even go over there herself. After all, not wanting to deal with the Russians is not a good enough reason to not put pressure on them to release their citizenship, once they acquire it. This isn't just a minor thing - this is about the lives of two innocent kids.

We're so glad to have Diana. What would we do if we were going through just about any other agency? We'd hear "So we have this delay... We have to wait till they settle it over there. Sorry." But not with Diana. Diana is a real force... She adopted from the Soviet Union when she was in her 20's! She's a tough lady. And she's determined. And she understands how we feel. So what Melonie said in the comments on the last post is true. Diana will stop at nothing.

So on Monday, Diana has a lot of questions for Signe. Exactly how long will it take to get their citizenship (Signe currently says "Should be by the end of Sept.")? Once that's done, how long will it take for the kids to relinquish their citizenship, pending their American adoption and citizenship, or alternatively how long will it take for the Russian Embassy in Estonia to release them? Then how long after that will everything be completely final so we can have our court hearing?

Hopefully she'll find out the answers on Monday. But we're all prepared for an "I don't know, let me find out and I'll get back to you..." and no news every day for who knows how long.

Anyway, as far as how we're doing, we're holding on! We're not giving up, no matter what it takes. The kids deserve to come here and we promised them that we would come back for them no matter what. I told Diana that if we weren't so attached to the kids, we'd give up. It's just too difficult. But we are attached to them, so we will go as far as we have to to get them. We'll hire a lawyer. We'll write to the Estonian president (after all he seems like a really endearing man. He looks like a high school principal. And to listen to him speak English, you'd swear he was American. Not even an accent.). We'll get on the O'Reilly Factor!! LOL

So we're surviving, though bound to uncertainty and fierce determination.

What a mess.

Talk to you all soon.
Love,
Molly

D is for Disaster.

You know that saying "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all"? Well, I used to the be the kind of person who would say things like that. If you ever wondered what kind of event could possibly make a terminally positive and optimistic person suddenly feel like it's pointless... well, wonder no more! And also know that if you're trying to do something to make a difference in someone's life, you're going to be stopped at every step by some unfair, evil technicality.

Today we found out, instead of hearing about a court date, that we're in for a delay of completely unknown length because of yet another thing that "has never happened before." The kids' mother chose to have Russian citizenship, so the kids don't have Estonian citizenship, but they also don't have Russian citizenship because they were born in Estonia. Recently (of course) there has become an issue with kids with no citizenship to any country being adopted. Which means, now that they know this and now that it's a problem, the kids have to apply for Russian citizenship and then turn around and renounce it, or get released by Russia to be adopted through Estonia.

Sparing you some of the grueling details... When Diana found this out, she demanded that this be taken care of immediately with no dragging of feet because we've already previewed and waited 4 months to bring them home, and the kids are expecting to come home soon. So it's not like they can just start working on it, being diplomatic because of tension between Estonia and Russia, because it's just not acceptable to do this to them. Or to us for that matter - we deserve for something to go right and on-time for a change!!! Diana said she would do whatever it takes to get this taken care of. She assures us that this does not mean that the adoption will not go through. Of course now at this point, with all of the things that have gone wrong, that we kind of feel obligated to prepare for anything. But at this point we don't know how long it's going to take. A month? 10 months? Don't know. We should know more next week.

I asked why they couldn't have taken care of this years ago... The answer: it was never an issue until RECENTLY. Signe (the main lady at the Ministry of Social Affairs in Tallinn) said she just found out about this within the last few days.

What's weird is I was all positive and optimistic that things would work out fine, we'd get a court date in September, etc.... But then, all of a sudden a few days ago like I hit a brick wall, all that changed. I suddenly got a bad feeling, started crying all the time, saying that who knows when we'll be going, no one over there cares about the kids, we're just names on paper, everything goes wrong for us with the adoption processes, it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair... Bitter, angry, frustrated, sick, depressed... Nothing like my normal personality. I've never been that way for more than 10 seconds at a time in my whole life. Strangely this started right when Diana and Signe started becoming aware of a possible problem. But I didn't know about the problem. All I knew is that we hadn't received our court-generated document yet, and that's unusual. And this must be why. The kids have no citizenship and suddenly need one in order to be adopted!! Doesn't matter that it doesn't make sense. They have to have a citizenship so they can get rid of it immediately. Stupid rules and paperwork crap!

So finding out all this today basically made me feel justified in all the emotions I've been having, which means I'm only a little bit more distraught than I was to start with this week. I was almost expecting something like this, and Jason was too. I could just feel something going wrong.

Diana says that she really doesn't think it's going to be that long before this is resolved. Signe said they should have their Russian citizenship this month (I don't know why THAT part works fast supposedly but it takes 4 stinking months, or more, to schedule a stinking court date!!!), but we don't know how long it will take for Russia to release them or for them to renounce their citizenship officially.

We're considering going to visit the kids if we find out it's going to take a long time. If it's only going to be a month or two, we'll just wait I guess. But we can't go much longer than that without seeing them. Even though we'll all have to deal with the pain of leaving again, it's just too unbearable to be separated much longer.

I can only recall feeling this way ever before when it preceded a great sigh of relief, realizing it was just a bad dream.

Pray for our sanity and the kids to hang in there when they find out. God, they are going to be so upset.

Love,
Molly

When is my due date again?

We sent an email back to the kids saying that now that it's September hopefully things will start happening and we hope we will be there this month to come get them. They wrote back and said "We will wait for you, but hurry, we are waiting you." (Or as Diana translated it into conversational English: "Just hurry, we are waiting for you.") :) We feel bad that they are disappointed and unhappy that they aren't there, but we're glad that it's still important to them. It's tough for all of us to be patient! I hope they understand that it's not us being slow!

At this point we're not getting a Sept. date if we don't hear by I guess the end of next week. So it seems like a long shot now that we're getting close and nothing has happened. Melonie compared it to being past your due date with pregnancy. I guess it's like that - don't know when it's going to happen, seems like it never will, but you know it has to. Can't stay the same forever!

In the meantime, I'm having weird mood swings, not feeling well, tired and weird food cravings... Hmm...

Just trying to scare you. Ha hahahahaha!

Love,
Molly

Sad

We got an email this morning from the kids. They answered yes that they are back in school, and then said:

"We you very much love. We miss you. I am always crying."

:(

Diana asked how we can enjoy the weekend after that. Indeed!

Don't miss the post below from last night if you haven't read it yet...

Love,
Molly

A word at the right time

I talked to Melonie last night, who is in the process of adopting her 4th Estonian child in 2 years. I have talked to her before by email and on the message board, but I had a few questions for her so we talked on the phone this time. We talked for over an hour and she settled our minds on so many uncertainties that have gone through our minds over the last nearly 4 months. Mostly on what the kids would be like when we see them again, how quickly they will grow up, what the court hearing is like, and when our court date will probably be. She said the magic number is 4 months from dossier submission and asked when we submitted our dossier. I told her 5/13. She said we will be getting the kids home VERY SOON then. She said she talked to Diana yesterday and Diana said that in the beginning of Sept. she's convinced that the courts will start passing out court dates. Melonie said that when they get back from summer holiday, they don't mess around. They get stuff done. So she thinks that we'll hear our court date by the middle of Sept. and it will probably occur toward the end of Sept., which is what I was thinking all along. Diana always says that the time line other people experienced offers no guarantee of what will happen for the next person, but the last several people who got court dates for Tallinn kids got them in about 4 months. Two were right at 134 days. (Trust me, at this point we are so obsessed with getting any clue about when it will be that we've scoured the message board, calendar in hand.)

Jason would know for sure, but I think we are at 109 now. He was convinced, before I shared with him what Mel said, that 2 months off for the courts means 2 months added to our wait. He didn't think so before, but now that we're getting so close to 4 months and haven't heard anything (since it's still August!), he started convincing himself it's not coming for awhile.

Part of the biggest trouble we've had with the wait is that we know how they were when we were there, and now we're missing it. Them being exactly the way we want them to be, and not knowing how long they will be this way. They will grow up, after all.

Mel says (and she is also a social worker in addition to a mom of 5 bio kids and working on her 5th total adoption!!!) that the kids are going to be young for a lot longer than American kids their age. Not only because of missing out on so much, not having been in a family, but because of their culture. Eastern Europeans let kids be kids a lot longer than we tend to here. Then there are the developmental stages they probably haven't reached because of the emotional inexperience they've had. She said by next summer we will probably want a vacation FROM them because they will probably be so joined to our hips.

I've also recently read on the Russian adoption message board that parents of adopted older kids from E.Europe often find that the kids are much more affectionate with their parents, even in front of their peers or in public, than their peers are, because of these very things.

I think it probably sounds silly that these are the things that we even think about. But you don't know what it does to you to have exactly what you want for 3 days, then have it taken away. Having them returned to people you don't know after you feel completely responsible for them, and fly across an ocean away from them. And then wonder what they'll think or feel or how they'll act when you finally (after an uncertain amount of time) see them again.

It's terrible. But, as I remind myself and Mel reminded me... It's worth it.

Always keeping you posted...
Love,
Molly

PS - No recent contact from the kids. They must be back in school now.

The Watched Pot

We've been back from vacation since Sunday (and it was official immediately as we had a total of 5 dogs in the house as soon as we got home, including Buddy and DogDog!). This week has been really tough, since we hoped we would have heard something by now about our court PAPERS if not our date. We did hear, while on vacation, that Diana has a feeling that we'll have court in September, which was nice since she rarely speculates on specifics. But at this point the first week of Sept. is out, since it's less than 2 weeks away. Every night Jason counts how many days to 9/15 (which would be 4 months from the day we submitted our papers) and crosses off the impossible days that our court date could be (everything less than 2 weeks away). Not that our court date HAS to come in 4 months or less, but about 4 months is the amount of time it has most recently been taking for families adopting from Tallinn orphanages. So obviously there's no hope of keeping our mind off of it now. I really can't explain how emotionally difficult this is. I can joke about it, but it really is very painful.

The court paper we're waiting for is the one where we list their new middle and last names. They need that before the court date can occur, but we could get that paper just before we hear our court date and just bring the paper with us. It would be nice if we had it already though!

We got three emails from the kids, I think, since my last post. Mainly the usual, which is really nice. There were a couple funny ones. One of them we couldn't figure out - the best we could do on the online translator and our limited knowledge was "Roman wants you to transfer his salute." We were like "what?????" So we asked for help from some other people who know Russian, and found out that it either says "Roman wants to send you his hello" or "Roman wants you to send him fireworks." Actually either of those would make sense, since our last package that we sent to them had good prints of fireworks pictures Jason took at a party we went to a few weeks ago.

Another funny one was this morning. The last line we couldn't translate hardly at all. We could figure out "We today" but that was it. Jason was all worried - What did they do today? What if it was something bad? LOL

Here's what the whole email said, translated:
We you very much love
We want more quickly to you
We miss you
Come again fast
Today we found with Roman a mouse!

So obviously it was nothing bad. :)

All for now!

Love,
Molly

Nope.

Hey! No, nothing is new. Not really anyway. We got the kids' beds. We ordered 3 pine platform beds - one twin, one full (to go under a good full size mattress we already had but the box spring was falling apart), and one queen (to go under a good queen mattress someone gave us awhile back, that we've been sleeping on on the floor!). Jason has been working on staining them. We have one of them done and assembled now. We're missing some pieces for one of the beds so we have to wait to put our bed together until we receive another leg, the bolts and screws, and parts of the headboard that are missing! But Katya's bed (the full) is done. Looks nice! So we have their curtains, bedding and beds. Now we just have to finish it up so we can get everything in its place and clean. It seems like every room is being rearranged. We're moving upstairs (to the "other" room above the kitchen), and the kids are getting the two downstairs rooms. The big room upstairs will still be the family room for now.

It's fun for me to set everything up. I like shopping for all this stuff! But we just hope we don't have empty set-up rooms for very long.

We've gotten a few short emails from the kids since my last post. The usual kind, nothing longer than a few words. But it's nice to hear from them!

We're going to our usual beach vacation next week and I'm looking forward to it. But we are (especially Jason) very disappointed that the kids aren't here in time for it. We didn't want to go there again without kids! :( But it's better than being home and being depressed! We can relax on the beach and be sad!!

That's all for now. Of course I'll keep you all posted if anything happens.

Love,
Molly

Slow busy summer...

Hey guys! Not much new to report really. Still getting short sweet emails from the kids occasionally. We were getting short ones every day for about 4 days in a row last week. But we haven't gotten another one since Friday I think, so maybe they're at camp again or just not getting access to a computer. I'm still particularly grateful that we hear from them. I know a lot of families don't get to hear from their kids at all during this wait. Mostly because most of the kids are younger, so they don't do email and stuff yet.

I got the new site up for the agency. I'm still writing some of the pages and getting info from some of the other families, but the waiting children is the most important part and that is up to date. The website, if any of you want to see it, is www.adoptconnection.com. I submitted it to search engines already, too. So I hope to see some of the other kids getting adopted.

The agency may be coming out with a new program soon, too. Diana (owner of the agency) went to Nicaragua last week to work out a international adoption program with them. I haven't heard the final report, yet, but if they end up allowing pictures the way Estonia does, they will be on the new site, too. I won't hold my breath... photo listings like Estonia's are extremely rare. Most countries don't allow public pictures at all.

That's all that's going on right now. Still no court document or court date. A lady named Viola, and her husband, went to preview a little boy last week and they were told to expect a late Sept. court date, so we hope that means we still have reason to expect Sept. also. Their boy is in Tallinn as well. We really hope we'll all be there at the same time. That would be fun for us all to be there for court together. More people who speak English! And we'll get to meet all their kids. There are 3 other families we have personally talked to who are hoping for September, including Viola.

More as we hear it, as always!
Love,
Molly

Sites and sounds

Got a new email from the kids today. It said something like "We greatly love you. We want you more quickly come to take us to America."

Just thought I'd share. :)

Nothing else new today really. We have three howling dogs this week that are all keeping me entertained. Occasionally they all howl at the same time like they're singing. Usually the dogs being noisy is annoying but in this case it's hilarious. Usually it's right when I should be getting up, so at least I wake up laughing. One of them (the Basset Hound) howls and then snorts, then howls and snorts. Sooo funny.

I'm helping the agency with a new website, which is fun. They need more traffic to the Estonian program to get some of these other kids (particularly the older kids and the boys) adopted. I get to put travel tips, info on Estonia and the adoption program, and the photo listing on there, and help keep it updated. Which means I'll be one of the first to hear about new kids or status changes on any of the kids available! Fun! I'm working on it but I'll let you all know when it's pretty much done.

I also offered to re-format their documents, like their dossier checklists and things that could look more structured and include more details and explanations. That will keep them from getting the same questions from new people over and over - the same questions I had to ask! But I love doing stuff like that, when I have time. I get joy out of providing information and assistance that I wish I had when I went through it. It's almost like doing it all over, but with foreknowledge that I didn't get to benefit from!

All for now! More soon I hope.
Love,
Molly

No worries today.

Today was actually a really good day, news-wise! Woohoo! It's about time! First, after waking up from the basset hound we're watching saying "booowww! Bowwww!", I checked my phone and there was a new email from the kids. We had trouble translating it at first, so we asked Diana (agency lady) to help. Our email to them was about how we were waiting anxiously for the court date, and we are told it will probably be in September, and we hope it is as soon as possible. They wrote back: "When there will be a court date, write us a letter. We will wait. We love you."

So that was nice!

Oh wait, before that happened - last night I spent nearly 2 hours total on the phone with Shelley - the social worker who works for the agency (and coincidentally lives in PA); and then with Barbara, the other primary person at the agency. They advised me not to talk to that other family, which I told them I wasn't planning to anyway. I didn't want to. They said there is no way they can disrupt anything or cause any trouble for anyone but themselves. It is impossible to adopt from Estonia from the US without approval from the agency, and in addition to that - no judge would approve their adoption of our kids because apparently - Shelley said she was under the impression that our kids actually SAID they don't want to be adopted by those people! We didn't know that. So when I talked to Barbara, I asked her if that was true. She said yes, and that the orphanage asks kids (over a certain age) after a preview if they want to be adopted by the family that visited them. If they say no, they don't let the family proceed with adopting those kids. So naturally my next question was - so did they SAY they definitely want US to adopt them? Yes, they did. In fact, they told Igor, they told the orphanage, and they signed a paper saying such.

That was really good to know. I'm glad we didn't know before the preview, though, or we might have acted differently, nervous that THEY could fire US! LOL But even when we had to discipline them or tell them no a bunch of times, they still truly wanted us to be their parents.

After talking to Shelley, I promised to email her pictures from the trip. This morning she wrote back and said "What a beautiful family! Thanks for sharing the pictures. I looked at them over and over because the smiles on the kids faces is what makes my job worthwhile. Things in Europe slow down over the summer but I know that Diana and Barbara are doing everything possible to see that your children are at home with you, where they belong, as soon as possible."

Barbara also shared a lot of other good information with me, too much to type. Mostly about other people and their experiences. We also talked about me helping them with some website stuff and document formatting, which I love the idea of. Maybe there could be another website created by Molly for you guys to see, soon!

OK so back to today. We get home from service and SHOCKER! guess what we find? A letter in the mailbox from Tallinn. We thought it would never happen! (<---Said in my head like Mrs. Bennett in Pride and Prejudice, British accent of course.) There was a letter from each of them, handwritten in Russian, along with little drawings of the 4 of us next to a house and a heart that says "I love you." Along with each letter was a typed out translation (I assume was provided by Igor. How NICE!!!) with a photo of them on each translation printout.












In our letters to them, up to this point, we've talked about the family (all the aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc. that they would have); we talked about the beach and asked if they've ever swam in the ocean before; we sent them shoes (translates "boots") and a photo album of pictures from our visit with them. We also asked them how they are and what they've been up to since we saw them. Here is what they said:

Hello, Mum and Dad!
It was impossible to answer you immediately, because we were in a camp, it's 150km from Tallinn. When we returned we got your packet at the post office. Thank you very much for the presents, I liked it all! Boots fitted, but I do not wear it now, because I am going to put them on in September, when I go to school. The album with the photos is very beautiful. When I read your letter, I felt very sad. Roman and I miss you very much.
We want as soon as possible to meet our aunts and uncles, grandmothers and grandfather. We love them by now.
This year summer is not very warm here, often rains, that's why sea is cold. We can't swim there.
Write letters, we will very wait. I love you very very much!
Katya

Hello, Mum and Dad!
I am waiting when you come and take us with you to America. I want Daddy to teach me taking photos as well as he does. It seems that in all photos I look like my Mum and Katya looks like Dad. I would like to play football in America, because here I have been playing football for 2 years already.
I am also dreaming of seeing ocean and swimming in it. I have never seen ocean, because I didn't go abroad. I hope that in America good life and friendly family are waiting for us.
Recently we returned from the camp where we played and had fun, every evening we were dancing at the disco. There was a very beautiful lake near the camp, but water was cold, so we didn't swim there.
I like it very much that we will have a big family, I want as to see and meet our relatives as soon as possible.
Waiting for your letters.
I love you very much!!!
Roman

So today was a much better day than the last two. We hope the good news keeps on coming!
I'll keep you all posted, as always.
Love,
Molly

Actually I'd rather have NOTHING new to report.

First to answer some questions:
We found out about all this from Patti, the person who adopted Oksana (who was a little girl from the same group our kids are in). Patti met the other family when she was there for her court date in November. That's when they previewed our kids.

After I talked to Patti, I called the agency to make sure they knew that the other family was possibly fighting the disqualification. The agency is the one that told me that the family had tried to go over their head, so yes they did know that. They knew what was going on.

I can't say much more about it on here, because quite honestly at this point I don't know if it's possible if the other family might be aware of this blog.

This morning while we were meeting for service, I got an email (read it on my phone) from Patti saying that if we want to talk to that other family, they are willing to talk to us. I almost started hyperventilating. Does that mean they WANT to talk to us?! What could they possibly want to say? I'm not a confrontational person, in the first place, I don't like talking to people about personal things and not knowing what their motives and intentions are or what they might say, and I don't know that it will help any of us through this difficult time. I am mildly curious about what they would want to say to us, but it makes me panic at the thought. I could understand not being able to handle being disqualified after meeting the kids, and that never should have happened. The agency, whether trying to be nice or not, should have never allowed that. I would be upset and angry and grasping at straws if I were them. No one accepts rejection well, and in most cases it probably feels unjustified to the person rejected.

But the facts are that no matter how much they liked the kids when they met them (I'm sure they did); I have a pretty confirmed reason to believe that the kids are much more active than would be compatible for parents who won't run around with them full speed for hours, go down water slides with them, etc. Nothing against other parents that these kids could have had, but these kids DON'T want to be supervised when they are playing. They want to be played with. That's one of the reasons we love them and they are so perfect for us. Compatibility was not something lacking at all with the 4 of us (and not just with play). And the kids were quite obviously aware of it.

So this is probably yet another thing that "never happens" that is happening to US! If the kids were anything short of fantastic, I would regret ever beginning this adoption process. It's really not fair that (after all this time of weird delays in spite of our unusually ideal circumstances for adopted kids) not only are we getting no news lately - we're getting upsetting news now!

Does the adoption universe have some kind of advance knowledge of my ability to handle stress and is trying to push it to the limit?! LOL

Love,
Molly

PS- we heard that the family in Texas, Stephanie, who adopted two girls from our kids' group in June, got the girls home and are adjusting very well. I'm happy for them. They are a nice family and the girls are very sweet. Katya is good friends with them.

Mine mine mine!

No new email from the kids yet this week. We think they might be at camp right now anyway. So we probably won't hear from them again for a little while.

Not really any news except that work is finally slowing down to a regular pace again. It was soooo busy around the holiday weekend with people going away and needing us to watch their dogs. Now we just have two dogs - one we're watching and one we're training. So it's more tolerable! We're both pioneering this month too so it's really busy with that also!

We found out today that the previous family who visited our kids is still having a fit that they were disqualified and are trying to fight it. They went over the agency's head to Estonia and it didn't work. It's the agency's job to accept or reject families... That's why they have the accreditation and stuff from the Estonian government. So there's nothing they can do, but it's still upsetting! It's kind of like finding out that a crazy ex-girlfriend is after your husband. You know it won't work, but you still wish they'd stop trying to break you up and steal your spouse!

I don't know why we can't get many breaks with the adoption process. We're really grateful for the things that have worked out - finding Estonia and finding the kids. We love them so much and the trouble is worth getting them home with us, but it seems like it's just our luck that our kids are the ones that another family is trying to fight over! It just adds to the stress during our wait.

Jason pointed out that we've already had like 4 things happen to us with the adoption process that "never happen". 1- having a home study that takes 9 months to get because our SW quit, 2- having our USCIS approval take 15 weeks to get total, part of that because of #3- the SW misspelling our name and setting us back with USCIS approval and 4- choosing kids who have had been previewed by another family that was later disqualified and still wanting our kids!!!

We're due a big break. A quick court date perhaps? PLEASE adoption universe?!?!

Maybe our big break is just the only one we've had all along - amazing kids who are perfect for us.

Love,
Molly

Typed too soon.

Last night two more emails came through that were sent at the same time as the one we received yesterday morning. One of them had a word we couldn't understand so we're not sure what it said. The other was in response to one of our emails that said "Make sure you are good and don't get into any trouble!" Their response was " привет унас все хорощо
мы вас любим!!!!!!!!" which means "Hi we are all good. We love you!!!"

So, naturally, that made us feel better. It was a tougher sentence to write, complete with a couple misspellings. But we still knew what it said, and meant that there was more effort to write something with substance than we initially thought they had made. And getting the "we love you" again is always nice. Much better than one email that just says "Yes". :)

Just wanted to share!

They are probably at camp again so we may not hear from them for a couple weeks. We'll see. Keep praying that we get that stinking court paper soon. That's what we need now!

Love,
Molly

Reassuringly unassured.

Not much going on lately... We got another email from the kids this morning, but it was only a one word answer (da = yes), in response to whether they liked the pictures we sent them from the trip. It can be a little disappointing at times that they don't say more in their emails, because they are capable of it, and we know they probably spend much of their internet time on limpa.ru website, posting comments at length to who-knows-who on there. Especially after the long letters we take the time to handwrite and send with a printed translation. Jason already worries that the kids won't be "the way they were" by the time we see them again, and the short emails make that worry worse. That they'll somehow get so much older than 4-6 months older, over the course of 4-6 months. Especially Katya, now being 12 years old. He's worried that by the time she gets here she will be less interested in family and more interested in telephones and parties. I don't think I discovered telephones and parties till I was a little older. And still, she has to learn English and make friends in order for that to happen. It seems, though, that even though there are valid bright sides to adopting older kids - we may already be upset that they are growing up so fast. And they aren't even here yet!

I don't worry really that they will be that much different when we see them. After all, their life's purpose over the last 5 years has been to join a family. I don't think that them not wanting to play tag and get piggy back rides anymore will be the adjustment we have to make, or that they have to make. My biggest concerns have to do with getting them used to the rules here. Like they won't be allowed on limpa.ru anymore. There are bad pictures on there, and mostly - we can't do our job as supervising what's going on on there because we can't read it! It's all Russian. They will not like, and not understand, that rule. I'm sure there will be times they think that "these parents are MEAN"... That's what I'm concerned about... They will have these very important rules enforced right from the start -before we can get them used to trusting that we know what's best and it's for their protection. I don't worry whether they will want to play UNO with their parents sometimes. I think the rules are important for their adjustment, but they won't understand them and we can't explain them that well at first.

But I guess that's why Jason and I work well together. We rarely worry about the same things.

Anyway, I am glad that we get emails from them at all. If they were younger we wouldn't hear that they were even alive and well because they would have no ability to contact us. And I also believe that it is more important for them to be reassured of how much we care about them, than for us to be reassured. They, after all, are the ones that have had to be accepted or rejected; and have been rejected more than accepted.

I very often think back to how I was at that age, and my relationship with my parents. As much as I am so proud of my parents and how they raised me, I'm sure that I got more reassurance from them of their love than I gave them. That is what makes me think that this is the job of the parent. To give more than I'll get back sometimes.

I'll keep you all posted on anything interesting that happens, of course. Stay tuned!

Love,
Molly

PS- I got to see Tabitha and Jeff yesterday!!! Woohoo! They were in NJ for the ASL district convention. They are doing pretty well. They, too, said that the kids look like they could be OUR kids. We don't see any resemblance, but take it as a compliment when we hear it!