Friday, May 30, 2008

Tallinn

Note: Three posts today, don't miss the other two (pictures below and text below that)!


Tallinn

This picture is by the park that we most often would take the kids to, to play on the playground, play tag and take pictures. It was right around the corner from the B&B we were staying in. I wish we had more pictures of what the streets and buildings looked like, but the kids usually had the camera and when we had the camera, we were usually taking pictures of the kids. I think one of the kids even took this picture. In fact, I know they did. They like to hold down the button so it does the rapid fire shots (3 per second), so there were about 12 duplicates of this picture. LOL

Where we were staying was called the "Old Town" of Tallinn. It was all old buildings and cobblestone streets. The view out our window was out the front of the building, where 5 or 6 streets intersect.

In Estonia, one thing we realized after awhile is that pedestrians in a crosswalk REALLY DO always have the right of way. You step into the street on a crosswalk and everyone SLAMS on their brakes to let you cross. Of course you look to be sure, but they always stop.

People are generally very polite. We didn't hear a horn honk all week, except for the cars pulling over and honking to alert someone indoors to come out and get in the car.

When I said everything is very clean, I mean CLEAN! We made a game of finding trash on the street. We rarely would see a receipt or something like that on the ground, and that was about it. And there are no trash cans. Only little tiny ones attached to an occasional bench, but no giant monstrosities on the corners like you see in most cities.

For money, we got Euros at the airport thinking those would be good anywhere. But in Estonia, you can only pay with credit cards and Estonian Kroons (EEK). The kroons were easy to compare to USD, they are just one decimal off from USD value basically. 100 kroons is like 10 dollars. We didn't know that, though, when we went to the ATM and withdrew 5000 kroons. The kids went "Whooooaaaa!" No wonder they thought we were rich and were surprised when we didn't buy them something they asked for!

There are no overweight or unattractive people. Well, I shouldn't say that. There are the tourists. They're ugly sometimes. Oh, and all the really overweight women - they are in the hot tubs and shamelessly naked in the locker room at the indoor water park/gym. We saw them nowhere else! Aside from that, everyone is usually extremely attractive, not just not ugly. LOL

There is alcohol for sale EVERYWHERE. It really is often cheaper than water.

And as for water... When you order water in a restaurant it is always bottled and it's usually like 3 or 4 dollars. And unless you specify, you will always get carbonated water. You have to order it "still."

Everything is pretty expensive. Clothes, food, soft drinks, gas. It's $8 a gallon for gas. The first night we were there, without the kids, and before we knew how much the money was, we spent $50 at some stupid bar and grill for two really terrible sandwiches and a bottle of water. YUCK! The food at the grocery store isn't that expensive, though. So we started going there and making sandwiches and things at the hotel.

Nearly everyone in restaurants, stores, and behind any counter speaks all three languages: Estonian, Russian, and English. We ran into more trouble with people not speaking Russian for the kids rather than not speaking English for us. There is much more prejudice against Russians than there is against Americans. We had to leave one restaurant because there was no Russian menu - only Estonian and English, which meant the kids had no way of telling us what they would like to eat. And the waitress was rude to the kids when they asked if there was a Russian menu.

There are phone booths everywhere.

The buses are attached to wires that run along above the street, so they stay in the same lane all the time. I have no idea what that's for exactly.

There are a lot of McDonald's, and they are exactly like the ones here except the menu is in three languages.

The water park (Kalev Water Spa) was about a 10 minute walk from the hotel, and we are jealous that we don't have a place like that here. It's a big gym, an Olympic size pool, several hot tubs in different temperatures, different types of bubbles and flows, etc., kid pools, and 4 or 5 enclosed flume slides. We went there two days in a row because it was so much fun for all of us! It wasn't crowded and we don't know how many times the kids must've gone there, but they showed us how to do everything (how to work the lockers that open and lock with your electric wristband, etc.). They swim really well, too.

More later, I'm still thinking of things to say about the town. :) Check back for more paragraphs.

^^^
The only other thing I could think of, still in my exhaustion (mostly mental), is that there are no dogs. Of all the times in the park and in public, we saw two dogs. OK, three if you count the Pomeranian sticking out of a purple leather bag, carried by a woman dressed in a purple suede mini-dress with thigh-high purple suede boots and giant sunglasses. But I think she actually stepped out of a fashion magazine, so she doesn't count.

Photos (click to enlarge)













And this is Igor!

"Still we shall wait..."

We got home last night at about 11:30 and went to sleep at 1:30am. We were exhausted and could probably have fallen asleep on the driveway, but Jason was dying to watch the season finale of a certain stranded-on-an-island show, so we fought to stay awake a little longer. CRAZY!

This morning we feel pretty much back to normal after sleeping soundly in our own bed. It was so dark in our room compared to the hotel room because it doesn't get completely dark there this time of year. That was weird getting used to the dark again!

From the comments and questions we've received from some of you, I guess I wasn't clear in my haste during my last post. So to avoid further uncertainty: Yes, we do love these kids and yes we will be adopting them, whatever it takes. We would be heartbroken if we didn't get these kids and we already miss them terribly.

The rest of the trip: So the rest of the night Wednesday was great. Katya and Jason ran out to the store to buy more food at 9:30pm because they were hungry. We went ahead and let them eat as much as they wanted and pack food in their bag to go back to the orphanage because we know they don't get to eat much. Then we talked on the translator more. Then Katya turned off the computer, making a point that she had no desire to ask "Pleeeease eeenternet, 5 mee-nets?", and that instead she wanted to just spend time with us. So they played UNO with us (which they had done several times the other days too), and giggled and tickled and wrestled until we finally said it was time to sleep at about midnight. By then Roman had already fallen asleep on his bed.

They got right up when we woke them Thursday morning, since we'd explained Wednesday night that since it was our last day they should get right up so we can spend as much time before we had to go home. We all packed our stuff and ate breakfast. They wanted to go to the park one more time to play tag, so Jason took them while I finished packing. Then we waited for Igor to come at 10am to take us all to the orphanage. When Igor pulled up outside, Katya smiled and pointed out the window, "Igor, Igor!" I teased her and said, "Why are you happy? If Igor's here, that means we have to leave!" She laughed and said, "Oops!" then stuck her lip out and looked sad, in a joking way. But then they both got sincerely sad and started hugging us a lot.

When we got to the orphanage we got to meet a few of the other kids who weren't at school that day. One was Masha, a girl that we've seen pictures of on the photo listing along with her sister. They are being adopted by a family here in the US also. She's good friends with Katya so they are excited that they are both going to America soon. We took pictures of Masha for her adoptive family to see.

We took pictures of the orphanage, the other kids, and the caretakers, and we talked to their caretaker. The hour or so we were sitting in one of the living room areas, Roman sat leaning against me, very quiet and subdued. Just looking around, not talking, and it was tough to get him to smile. He looked very serious. We asked Igor what was wrong with him. He said he was sad that we were leaving. This was the only time Roman was truly upset the whole trip.

Wednesday and Thursday morning we really felt like the kids started changing and developing an actual bond with us, rather than just that we are new and fun.

I was thinking about earlier my concerns that these kids might have more than normal selfish tendencies because of their circumstances, that we would have to work out of them when they get home. On Thursday at the orphanage around lunch time, we knew the kids had to be getting hungry because we were both starving. The kids had some food (cookies, bread, apples, etc.) in their bag from the hotel. We tried to put in there as much food as we could, as I mentioned, since they don't get fed much. I said to Jason that I was hungry, and the kids immediately insisted on giving me their cookies and an apple. That meant a lot to me because they had every right to be selfish about that food. I ate a cookie and left the apple and the rest of the cookies on her bed for her.

We played basketball for awhile and then we went back inside for us to talk to their primary caregiver, who had just arrived. Jason played UNO with the kids in their room while I talked to her. She also only spoke Russian and only maybe a few words in English. It was funny because I would ask a question and Igor would translate the question, they would talk back and forth for a couple minutes, then look at me and go, "...So... yeah..." And I would look at them like, "What? You didn't answer me!" LOL

So I did get to find out that the speech therapy was a few years ago to teach Roman how to roll his R's, which he is amazing at it now. We also heard that he had been to a psychologist, so I asked her why. She said it was when he first came to the orphanage after their mother's rights were removed by the court, and he hasn't needed it since then. It was only for a little while in the beginning. They said that they are both very healthy, happy, and handle life's challenges very well and with a good attitude. That must be why they seem so normal for their situation. Of course there will probably be issues in the future related to their prior abandonment, we know.

Then it was time to leave. We all walked outside to Igor's car and gave each other hugs. We held back emotionally as much as we could so the kids wouldn't get too upset. I hugged Roman first. Even though he's very affectionate, he is less outgoing than his sister. They both hold hands with us a lot more than they hug, which we've heard is a cultural thing. So I never hug them for too long at a time because I don't want to overwhelm them. When I hugged him, we both squeezed tightly and when I started to loosen up, he kept squeezing. He didn't want to let go. It was so heartbreaking. Katya did the same thing. Then we tried to keep it lighthearted, telling them not to worry, we'd see them again in a few months and we promised to come back for them. They nodded and said "Yes" with their cute accents. Katya tried to be upbeat with a smile and "Ciao!" It reminded me of when I leave my mom's house after a visit, her with tears in her eyes, we're both sad, and I say, "See ya soon! Byeee!", trying to keep us from getting too upset.

Then we drove away, waving through the windows to each other.

Leaving them at the orphanage was absolutely the saddest and hardest thing we've ever done. Neither of us ever cry in public. But boy did we yesterday! Every person in every airplane and airport we were in probably was wondering what in the world was wrong with us. It was so painful. But at the same time we had the odd mixture of happiness and depression because we felt like we got exactly what we went for. It was nearly perfect, even including all the testing behaviors we got on Tuesday. In some ways it doesn't even feel real. It was like a dream - exactly the way I would have imagined it. Getting along quickly, getting more and more comfortable with each other all the time, some rough spots, the fun of being around energetic and goofy kids, and the difficulty of leaving. And the niceness and easiness of the city and the logistics of the trip. It was all great. We can't wait to go back.

Courts close for July and August, so we're hoping (though it's really unlikely) that we'll hear about our court date during June. But it won't be until the fall sometime that it actually occurs. We got our INS approval (171H form) FINALLY, so everything is done. It's all being translated, then we get a couple forms from the court to fill out, then we get our court date. So all we do now is wait. And wait. So we hope to have our court date, if Tallinn courts really are as fast as they say, in late September or shortly thereafter.

We do get to keep in touch with the kids. We tried calling already once but a young boy answered and didn't understand me at all. Even though I was asking for the kids in Russian. LOL So we'll try again tomorrow. We will also be mailing them letters, pictures and gifts. We want to send them pictures of the rest of the family, so everyone send me some! We did tell them about all the family members they'll be getting and they got SO excited. 4 Grandparents, great-grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins... And they both said that some day they would like to have more brothers and sisters. We laughed and said WAY WAY future someday. ;)

So... Pictures? You say you want pictures huh? OK I'll post a few here. And I'll write a post only about Tallinn, the culture, the people, etc. That's always fun for me - to see the differences in the way people are, the way they talk and act, in different parts of the country and world.

Stay tuned!

Love,
Molly

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Forgot to title this one!

Well as many of you already know, today was a million times better than yesterday. All it took was a 2 minute phone call from Igor to Katya. She wasn't upset at whatever he said, and it took her about 10 seconds to whisper in Roman's ear what Igor told her, and they were great all day. All it took was someone they understood and knew well to tell them to cut it out and why.

It also helped, we realized, after last night if we were a little more firm with them, and as soon as they got over it we would initiate some sort of nice attention. Playing a game, giving a hug, etc. They started listening right away and stopped pouting.

Today they each pouted once. Roman when I scolded him for deliberately throwing a ball very hard at Katya's face and hurting her. I forced him to apologize and he was probably embarrassed. So he was sad for about 10 minutes. I rubbed his back until he started to cheer up. He got over it, though, like it never happened.

We had ideas about the causes of their behavior (basically their circumstances, anxiety over change, communication issues, rejection issues, wondering if we will give them up if they behave badly, plus normal kid syndrome), but we weren't sure and wanted confirmation from you people with experience. We got the same general answers from several people, that it is normal behavior for kids, especially kids in their situation. And they have to get to know us better, develop communication and get a routine established at home.

hai <---- From Katya. She sees me typing. We were talking on the online translator tonight, at her desire, and during that we asked her if there was anything Roman would like to ask or say to us. He nodded, she asked what, and she typed (with the Russian online keyboard into the translator) the following:

We you very much LOVE.!!!!!!!

We want that you have arrived still we shall wait

We love you

You the kindest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The daddy and mum


So, as you can imagine, along with how the rest of the day went - that made it all worth it.

More when we get home. :) Still have to explain the activities today and what we do tomorrow before we leave.

Love,
Molly

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

And... action!

OK more. My brain is so jumbled right now.

First, about communication. Katya understands a good deal of English. Especially simple phrases. Roman understands less, but she explains it to him. They both use a lot of English words. So between our Russian, their English, and acting everything else out, and using an online translator for more complicated things, we get along communicating day to day stuff really well. It's the deeper explanations that are proving to be difficult. They need a form of discipline that requires a lot of reasoning because of their silly pouting when we tell them no, and we can't do it! It's so frustrating!

After the previous post, we set off to meet the Minister of Social Affairs, or something like that. It was so she could meet us and we could ask questions about the adoption. After that we came back to the hotel to hang out till time to eat dinner. From that point on, we had several ridiculous pouts and temper tantrums over dumb things. "No chocolate before dinner, we're leaving now" - OK that means Roman can lay down and start crying! "No ordering your own food in Russian, look at the price - this price ok (less than 100 kroons, which is about 10 US dollars), this price not ok (130 kroons or 150 kroons, etc.). Ask before you order." That means: order $50USD worth of food, quickly, in Russian, then make us ask the waitress what the heck just happened. Then have her explain to the kids that they will make us run out of money and we've already spent a lot on them, and they have to pick one of the two dishes they ordered and share it. They angrily agreed and said the food was terrible afterwards. I gave them each a half slice of the $8 pizza Jason and I were sharing, since they didn't like their food. I forced them to thank me.

After that we got super strict with them. We started telling them no about nearly everything because of they way they acted at dinner. We made sure they understood that it was the tantrums that get them into trouble, not whatever they were doing before we said the terrible word "no". Since then they seem to be taking us more seriously and behaving better. The last two tantrums were very short and completely overacted. It was clear that it was completely fake. Katya still wanted to hold someone's hand while she went to sleep, even though we had to raise our voices firmly to get them to settle down and go to sleep. (Her roll away bed is on one side of our bed, about a foot away. Roman's bed is along the foot of our bed. Small room!)

I got really upset at the restaurant that they were being so snotty. We called Diana, the adoption agency lady, and she said she would call Igor and explain to him in Russian what was going on, so he could in turn come to help whip them into shape. They know him, like him, and trust him, and Diana says he's great at talking to kids when they are acting up. So we'll see how that helps. We wanted Diana to explain it to Igor in Russian because, believe it our not, his English isn't that great! We can't be too deep with him.

Jason worries most that when they are affectionate (which they are, all the time), that it is insincere and means something to him and nothing to them. That they only care about getting stuff and getting to use the computer. I don't think that's true, but I do think they are sometimes trying to manipulate us. We see through it, at least. But it is hard not to take it personally and feel taken advantage of, and replaceable by any parents who would give them some things.

We'll see how things go tomorrow. I think they need to just adjust to these rules. We found out that in the orphanage they basically get nothing special. Broth to eat EVERY DAY, not even any veggies in it. So when they are out, they get a lot more than they are used to, so they don't understand where the limit is. Everything they get is so amazing, they don't understand why some things are "no" and some things are "yes." And they don't understand money at all.

As far as other trip details - Tallinn is absolutely beautiful. We're staying in "Old Town", which is all cobblestone streets and old gorgeous buildings. It's perfectly clean, and almost everyone is attractive. Only the tourists are ugly. LOL We walk everywhere and it's just great. Can't wait to show you all pictures. We'll post them on here as soon as we can. There are some really great ones. In fact, Katya and Roman have probably taken over 1000 pictures. They hold Jason's Nikon and shoot away while we walk in the town. So we don't have to take pictures and look like tourists. They get everything. And Jason and I take pictures of them playing with each of us. So there are some really good shots!

That's all for now. I could say so much more but unfortunately the only time I have to write, it seems, is late at night. It's after midnight here and I'm exhausted. So I'm off to try to sleep. Jason hasn't slept but maybe 6 hours since last Friday night. I don't know how he's still going, giving piggy back rides and running playing tag for an hour at a time. It's a good thing we're young. Parents the "correct" age for them would not keep up with them.

More tomorrow hopefully. Comments are welcome in regard to the kids behavior. Email me with longer ideas. LOL

Love,
Molly

OK OK! Da! Eta update.

Sorry for the long delay. I know a post has been much anticipated! We don't have much time right now so I may need to finish this post later but I'll update it as I have time.

We arrived in Tallinn on time on Sunday night. Exhausted from neither of us really sleeping on the flight over. Sunday night was rough because we found out that the kids had school on Monday morning and we wouldn't see them until the afternoon. We were disappointed that we had to wait more because we really want to spend as much time as possible with them. We were worried that that would mean that they would have school every morning and they may not be able to spend the nights with us at the hotel, and that we'd only have a few hours each afternoon with them at the orphanage. Well Igor worked it out with the director and as of Monday afternoon we've had them with us the whole time.

Yesterday we went to eat at McDonald's with them, and then later at Hesburger, which is like McDonald's, and then later we ate pizza. They eat more than we do and they are super skinny. So they can use some fattening up. We also ran around playing tag in the park. Well the three of them ran around and I mostly took pictures! I hope to post them later.

Today we took them swimming at this indoor water park and then to McDonald's AGAIN for lunch. LOL

Things really are great with them. We get along wonderfully and it didn't take long for them to start calling us Mom and Dad. ("Mahm" and "Pahppa") They are small for their age, I think, and though they take care of themselves well, they ask for help a lot.

They both have tested us several times (much more yesterday than today) with pouting fits when we'd tell them no about something. Like Katya got really mad that I wouldn't buy her this little packet of makeup because it was too much money. They don't understand money, and we were told that the orphanage might have told them that when they get new parents, that they will get whatever they want. They are learning that that is not the job of parents! We explained to Katya that if she wants something, she should ask for it nicely and not just act pitiful. And she shouldn't pout if she doesn't get her way, and that we would not buy anything and she can't use the computer if she acts like a brat. She laughs when I say "brat." She knows what that means, apparently. We've found the best way to get her out of the pouting fits is to make her laugh, and then explain that she should stop.

When I get back to the computer I will describe out communication between us works and how the language barrier is going. It's not as bad as I thought it would be.

More later!

Love,
Molly

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Q&A

NOTE: this is the second post for today. Don't miss the other post below.

Continuously refer to this post for Q&A about our trip. Here are some questions we've been asked so far:

1) Itinerary:
We're leaving on Saturday the 24th at 10pm from EWR (Newark). I think it's about an 8 hour flight to Stockholm. Then a 1.5 hour flight or so to Tallinn. We will get to TLL at 5:50pm Sunday the 25th, which will be 10:50am US Eastern time Sunday morning. Of course these times are considering no delays. As you know, delays are likely. Which is why I hate airports.

We'll be home Thursday the 29th, scheduled to be in Newark at 7pm US Eastern time. We'll be leaving Tallinn at 3:35pm there, which is 8:35am here.

2) Time difference:
They are 7 hours ahead of us. Or is it behind? I don't know. If it's noon here, it's 7pm there.

3) Will we be able to contact the "real world"?
Our cell phone will work to receive and make calls, as well as text messages. Charges are $1.99/minute for calls, $.50 each text message received and sent. We also have noticed that people seem to have no trouble staying on the internet regularly while in Estonia. So I imagine either by way of WiFi and our laptop and/or internet cafes, we will be updating our blog. We also plan to assign a family-and-friend-liaison in the US to receive texts/other communication from us to relay to everyone else. (i.e. "They are in Tallinn, made it safely.") Any takers? Needs to be someone who is in constant electronic accessibility and willing to call/email everyone else on the "list."

More later!

No flapping zone.

Just a little more than 4 days till we leave! So exciting!

Today we went to WalMart and Old Navy to get clothes for the kids and a few other things we needed for the trip. We've heard that sometimes the kids don't come to the hotel with much in the way of clothing, so since we are supposed to bring gifts anyway we figured clothes would be good for part of the gifts. It was strange buying kid's clothes. We had to guess on the sizes since we don't know how big they are. I think I got pretty close, but we'll see! I was standing in the boy's section in Old Navy and there was a lady there (about 40 years old probably). I asked her what she thought a 10 year old boy would wear as far as size. Turns out she has three boys, ages 9, 10 and 11; so she was a good person to ask! She confirmed what I was planning on buying. So hopefully it will work! We bought shirts, shorts, pants and pajamas in different sizes. The ones that don't fit will either be returned or donated to the orphanage.

We still need to buy gifts for the caretakers (scarves, lotions, jewelry, etc.) and games/toys to keep the kids busy. Nothing too extravagant. We're just told that since they don't get out much and don't get direct attention much, we might want breaks. So give them stuff to occupy them during those times!

Still waiting on our INS approval... more than 10 weeks now! :( Most people get them within 4 weeks. ARG!

The adoption photo listing for Estonia was updated last Friday with about 20 new kids. It caused mixed emotions at first because I don't like having what seems like an abundance of choices. Makes me worry that I'll make the wrong choice. But in the end it made us feel relieved that if for some reason E&R aren't right for us, there are other choices now available for us to meet while we're there. We won't feel pressured to make the wrong decision. Honestly it did cross our minds about whether we could handle adopting a THIRD child; but that thought didn't last long. No third child at least for awhile. There are two really cute individual girls on there (one 8yo and one 10yo), and a set of 4yo girl twins. We are still more "attached" to Katya and Roman, but it's nice to see other nice kids pop up on the listing. Even for the future we know that we can find other kids on there for our future adopted ones! LOL

We're still not anticipating any real issues with E&R. Just preparing for them. You know, hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.

I don't think I mentioned that we got the video of the kids translated? Dad put me in contact with a family from the Russian group in his old congregation (Andy's cong.). They watched the video and typed out the translation for us. Very helpful and appreciated! It was interesting to learn the exact conversation. Too much to write here, and we already had picked out the most important details I think (the ballet, the English classes, etc.). One thing that Roman mentioned is that he'd like to find parents in America that don't drink... Hmm... Maybe that gives us some possible insight about why they're in the orphanage?

Also, we found out that the family that skipped out on their court date did that TWICE with the same kids. They say they want a third court date, but it doesn't look like anyone is giving them one. Families are supposed to jump at a moment's notice when they get their court date. Drop everything. After all, the kids and the parents are supposed to be anxiously waiting and hoping for the soonest possible second. What kind of people would be a no-show to TWO court dates? They must have more money than they have compassion and good sense. It's not fair!

We're trying to pack everything into carry-on luggage so we don't have to check anything. It's tough and I'd say right now that's the only thing I'm really stressing about. I know that sounds funny - but you know me... I don't really worry about stuff. But how are we gonna fit it all?! We already have one carry-on filled with clothes for the kids and to donate!

Jason, however, worries about just about everything. Mostly he worries that the kids won't like him. I'm doing my best to keep him positive. He just doesn't do well with any situation where the big details are unknown. He's not a "wait and see"-er.

So, I guess it's a good thing that I am! One flappable + one unflappable = only a little flapped.

Whew! Relax...

Love,
Molly

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

10 days or 10 years?

Counting down the days until we get to meet the kids. They are passing so slowly. It's getting more exciting, though, as we talk more to the ladies at the agency, being prepared about what to bring and what to expect. It makes it seem more real.

We got our dossier finished, with the exception of our approval form (I-171H) from the USCIS. It still hasn't come. Any day now! We had to go to Harrisburg, after having all of our forms notarized, to get them all apostilled (which is, again, a state seal that verifies that legitimacy of the notary). That was pretty easy, actually. Took like 5 minutes once we got there. We made a day of it last Friday while it was raining and we couldn't take dogs for walks. We stopped at Cracker Barrel and had lunch, which I haven't done in awhile (I think the last time was with mom, on the way to SC from Atlanta?). Jason was skeptical about eating there but gave in. He said the menu is confusing. Which it is. But he agreed the food was worth it. He said the atmosphere in there is so different than most restaurants it made him a little uncomfortable. I told him the atmosphere in there made me happy because I used to eat in there so often as a kid. I always think about that $50 stuffed cat (the one that looked real) that my parents bought me when I was little. I think that was the day that I started thinking that if you "just put it on the credit card", it's not really costing you anything. Fortunately I learned the TRUTH about that before I grew up. ;)

Anyway! We sent the dossier to the agency, they received it Monday and sent it to Estonia yesterday. I had to send our marriage license to Columbia, SC to be apostilled since it was a SC document, and they sent it to the agency directly. They received that yesterday but had already sent everything else to Estonia, so they will send me the apostilled marriage license and we'll hand carry it over to Estonia.

The ladies are also sending us a box of clothes to take to the orphanage as a gift. We also need to bring gifts for the orphanage, and for the caretakers. And of course for Katya & Roman. We're bringing them each a photo album of us, the house, and the animals. We took pictures of us the day of Rachel's wedding a couple weeks ago. I think we ought to do some casual ones too, but we'll see. We sent those same pictures with our dossier (required 6-10 pics of us and house), and the lady at the agency said the pictures were perfect. The pics were taken with Jay's good Nikon D80 digital SLR camera with a 60mm 1:2.8 micro auto focus lens (<-- Dad, FYI ;) ). 10-point-something megapixels!

As far as prepping us for the trip, Barbara (one of the agency ladies) warned me again that the kids may test us a lot at first (by being a little wild and not listening). One reason is because, unless they've figured it out already, they will be just finding out before we get there that the previous family who had come to preview them last year is not adopting them. Igor is going to explain to them that they failed the approval process, but that this new family (us) has already been approved, and it's not that they were rejected. Even so, they will still feel rejected and doubt the certainty of us adopting them. They won't trust us at first. In addition to that, they have to wait until the last minute to tell them because recently (for the first time in Estonia) a US family was a no-show to their court date. They just didn't come. So these kids - who happen to be in the same orphanage as K&R, thought they were going home on a certain day and the family ditched them. So they have to make sure we're actually coming before they tell them we are. Then when we're there and once we've decided for sure to adopt them, we have to make sure we assure them with promises that everything will work out.

Jason got worried recently that we'd go through all this and get there for our court date in a few months and the judge will reject us for no good reason. Theoretically they could, they can do whatever they want. Even though the court hearing is really a formality. So I asked the agency how many times that's happened, and as I suspected it was only once. It was this past February, and a judge who's never done an adoption before rejected a single man adopting a 7yo special needs boy. That is totally allowed by Estonia, but this judge was stupid so she rejected him. He has to redo his dossier and submit it to a new court. We already knew about that situation from the Estonia adoption yahoo group message board, and we were comforted to know that that was the only time that ever happened.

It really seems like, from everyone's experiences, the Estonian adoption is relatively VERY easy. So far it has been bump free, relatively speaking!

I think that's all the news for now. More soon probably!

Love,
Molly