We got our court petition this morning from Kersti! Seems like she wrote it out and emailed it to Diana as soon as she found out that the lawyers had our documents (which Liina received late yesterday). I wish she would have sent it before so we could have saved a trip to Harrisburg apostilling one more document! But we'll probably have to go once or twice more after this anyway for one thing or another.
But anyway, this means a few things:
First of all, as soon as that document is done and sent to Estonia, then all documents will be ready for court.
Second - the MSA issues that court petition, NOT the court. Maybe Kersti has to have approval from court to do that for individual cases, I don't know. But either way when people receive their court petitions, that doesn't mean that the documents are already in court necessarily. Our documents are not yet in court.
Third - the second thing above is a good thing... That means that it can take relatively no time at all to have a court date scheduled from the time the dossier enters the court house. I'd been told before that you can possibly get a court date a couple weeks after you get a court petition. (Or it could be months too, it depends on the region... In Narva for example the papers could sit in the court house for awhile too, before the court date is scheduled. Tallinn is faster.)
Kersti asked Diana if we will have Liina represent us or if we will travel for the court hearing. Our answer was that Liina will be there either way, but Jason will plan to travel without me (so I can take care of Anna and save $ on plane ticket, as much as I'd like to be there). But Liina can represent us in court alone without Jason personally there if that means court can happen sooner. So basically to do whatever is fastest.
It seems like everyone is preparing and doing everything possible to get court immediately, under the crazy circumstances. After all, if we had to wait till September, it would be like our wait has started over from now and we will be a year late getting them home only because of their mistakes. Liina said she believes Kersti understands the urgency of the situation, and said that she now has a "good efficient communication relationship with her."
We got an invoice for the attorney's fees for April - and we were already over our 10 hour retainer before the month of May even started. EEEEEK. I don't know how many hours they likely used in May, but probably we'll owe a few more thousand to Liina before all is said and done. But as you all know, we'll do whatever it takes to get our kids home.
Recent emails from the kids (thanks again to Larisa for your help!!):
From Roman-
"I love you too very much and want to be with you. Say hi to all relatives and friends, we love them too. Thank you for doing everything you can. It makes me feel very happy."
From Katya-
"I hope we can be with you [on vacation] in July. Do not worry, everything is going to be fine. I love you and Roman loves you too. Mom and Dad could you send us some sweets Roma wants them a lot and so do I, only if it is not hard for you. I think about Nastja, I wonder how she behaves good or bad. Mom and Dad I would like a plush toy for myself, for example a tiger or something else, only if you don't mind."
They're so sweet and funny.
More later!
Love,
Molly
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Kersti's reaction
Today's events went as well as can be expected I think. Diana talked to Kersti, who hadn't at the time spoken to Rutt yet. Kersti told Diana that she was waiting for a letter from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs about the bilateral agreement, and after that she'd hopefully be able to submit the dossier to court. But she wanted to know how we would feel about sending her new originals to submit to court instead of her having to pull the old originals out of the court where we adopted Anna. Some of them might be out of date anyway. Diana told her that we'd already started to anticipate that and we would send over new originals as soon as we had them all. Diana said Kersti's tone was better than usual - like she was assuming that everything would go to court and be fine.
Later I got an email from Rutt saying she'd talked to Kersti and told her about the MFA's decision. Rutt talked to her about submitting the dossier and Kersti told her the same thing she'd said to Diana about our originals.
So it does seem like the letter from the MFA is doing its job!
I got an email from Anna Valentina yesterday (Katya & Roman's former caretaker). She said she wondered if it might be possible to get Estonian government to agree to allow the adoption without involving Russia because she was feeling like consent from Russia could not be gotten. I wrote her back and told her what happened - that we'd already tried that and seems like it worked.
We told the kids (in an email) that we were able to get part of the Estonian government to agree that consent from Russia is not necessary for their adoption, which would mean that their adoption problems were fixed and we just needed to wait for court again. They wrote back very excited about that! But none of us know how long it will take to get a court date from here.
We have been working like crazy since everything started to be resolved, getting new originals for our dossier just in case they asked for them. We knew they would not give us any notice about needing them, so we just planned for it just in case. It takes a few weeks to do, but fortunately we should have everything done by Wednesday morning. Then we can FedEx the documents to the lawyer, who will take them to Kersti. That means theoretically the documents could be in court midweek next week, and that leaves us roughly 5 weeks till the courts close for the summer. It seems like Kersti is willing to make this an urgent matter, so there is still a good chance that we could get squeezed in before courts close. Seems like the least they can do after putting us through all this for nothing!
That's all for today. I'll keep you posted!! Sooooo glad things are starting to go well for a change!
Love,
Molly
Later I got an email from Rutt saying she'd talked to Kersti and told her about the MFA's decision. Rutt talked to her about submitting the dossier and Kersti told her the same thing she'd said to Diana about our originals.
So it does seem like the letter from the MFA is doing its job!
I got an email from Anna Valentina yesterday (Katya & Roman's former caretaker). She said she wondered if it might be possible to get Estonian government to agree to allow the adoption without involving Russia because she was feeling like consent from Russia could not be gotten. I wrote her back and told her what happened - that we'd already tried that and seems like it worked.
We told the kids (in an email) that we were able to get part of the Estonian government to agree that consent from Russia is not necessary for their adoption, which would mean that their adoption problems were fixed and we just needed to wait for court again. They wrote back very excited about that! But none of us know how long it will take to get a court date from here.
We have been working like crazy since everything started to be resolved, getting new originals for our dossier just in case they asked for them. We knew they would not give us any notice about needing them, so we just planned for it just in case. It takes a few weeks to do, but fortunately we should have everything done by Wednesday morning. Then we can FedEx the documents to the lawyer, who will take them to Kersti. That means theoretically the documents could be in court midweek next week, and that leaves us roughly 5 weeks till the courts close for the summer. It seems like Kersti is willing to make this an urgent matter, so there is still a good chance that we could get squeezed in before courts close. Seems like the least they can do after putting us through all this for nothing!
That's all for today. I'll keep you posted!! Sooooo glad things are starting to go well for a change!
Love,
Molly
Friday, May 15, 2009
Relax this weekend.
Well we were supposed to find out this week what the Ministry of Foreign Affairs (MFA) would write in response to Liina and Rutt's letter about the laws. So we waited every day, hoping for some news... I told Jason that "this week" means at least Friday, as far as I'm concerned. Everything takes the absolute maximum (and then some) amount of time. So I asked Rutt yesterday if she still expected to hear this week. She said if she didn't get the letter by today she would call and find out what's going on. At 7:30 this morning I called Rutt (2:30pm in Estonia) and asked if she received it. She said no, and she said she'd call and talk to them. I asked her to see if they could fax her the letter, if it's been completed, so we don't have to worry all weekend. She agreed and said she'd email me as soon as she finds something out.
A few minutes later I got an email from her saying that the letter was mailed by the MFA but she hadn't received it yet, but she got an electronic version of the letter. So now we know what the MFA says! As we all hoped, they confirmed that CONSENT FROM RUSSIA IS NOT NEEDED for this adoption case. WOOHOO!!!
They said that the Russian Embassy should be notified that their citizens are leaving the country, but that's all. I called Rutt to get clarification. She told me that notification is simply that - notification. Not permission, not request, not anything that they would respond to. Seems to be a normal part of the procedure. I told her my only concern was that since Kersti was convinced by someone that the Russian Embassy has a problem with the adoptions of Russian citizens, that involving the Embassy at all might cause a problem. She said that was only in relation to getting documents from the Embassy (i.e. passports), was likely not true anyway, and there is nothing that is needed FROM the Embassy.
We did find out from Igor that the kids already do have travel passports. So as far as I know we'll just be leaving their names the same and using their old passports to exit, just to save time if nothing else. In the next couple weeks we should be learning more about the specifics of the document procedures. But the most important hurdle has been successfully jumped, finally. The MFA, who is the known authority on international law in Estonia, has said that consent is not needed.
Liina told me last week that if the MFA said that, then the MSA would absolutely have no problem proceeding with the adoption without consent from Russia. So I hope and believe that the only issues that will stand in the way now is minor stupid delays and the lawyers curbing any concerns that Kersti has regarding how to actually DO everything now. We're going to tell Liina and Rutt to impose their assistance continually until the end - making sure Kersti doesn't stall something in any way, and make sure that this notification to the Embassy is done properly so no problems come out of it. We're also going to ask them to aggressively push Kersti to do whatever she has to do to get us a court date before the court closing in July. It's been a year since we met the kids and submitted our dossier, and it would be completely unfair to have to wait until the fall again. After everything they've put us through, the least they can do is treat this like an urgent matter.
That's all the real news I have for now! I'll let you know what details I learn next week. Rutt is going to speak to Kersti on Monday and explain what the MFA said, and go from there.
Everyone can take a deep breath of relief for now, though, at least for the weekend! Finally some indication that we are winning this long fight!
Love,
Molly
A few minutes later I got an email from her saying that the letter was mailed by the MFA but she hadn't received it yet, but she got an electronic version of the letter. So now we know what the MFA says! As we all hoped, they confirmed that CONSENT FROM RUSSIA IS NOT NEEDED for this adoption case. WOOHOO!!!
They said that the Russian Embassy should be notified that their citizens are leaving the country, but that's all. I called Rutt to get clarification. She told me that notification is simply that - notification. Not permission, not request, not anything that they would respond to. Seems to be a normal part of the procedure. I told her my only concern was that since Kersti was convinced by someone that the Russian Embassy has a problem with the adoptions of Russian citizens, that involving the Embassy at all might cause a problem. She said that was only in relation to getting documents from the Embassy (i.e. passports), was likely not true anyway, and there is nothing that is needed FROM the Embassy.
We did find out from Igor that the kids already do have travel passports. So as far as I know we'll just be leaving their names the same and using their old passports to exit, just to save time if nothing else. In the next couple weeks we should be learning more about the specifics of the document procedures. But the most important hurdle has been successfully jumped, finally. The MFA, who is the known authority on international law in Estonia, has said that consent is not needed.
Liina told me last week that if the MFA said that, then the MSA would absolutely have no problem proceeding with the adoption without consent from Russia. So I hope and believe that the only issues that will stand in the way now is minor stupid delays and the lawyers curbing any concerns that Kersti has regarding how to actually DO everything now. We're going to tell Liina and Rutt to impose their assistance continually until the end - making sure Kersti doesn't stall something in any way, and make sure that this notification to the Embassy is done properly so no problems come out of it. We're also going to ask them to aggressively push Kersti to do whatever she has to do to get us a court date before the court closing in July. It's been a year since we met the kids and submitted our dossier, and it would be completely unfair to have to wait until the fall again. After everything they've put us through, the least they can do is treat this like an urgent matter.
That's all the real news I have for now! I'll let you know what details I learn next week. Rutt is going to speak to Kersti on Monday and explain what the MFA said, and go from there.
Everyone can take a deep breath of relief for now, though, at least for the weekend! Finally some indication that we are winning this long fight!
Love,
Molly
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
You know that game called "Telephone"?
Update!
I talked to Liina for about a half hour today. I love talking to her, she is very thorough and very determined. She likes to tell me all the details, which I love. But of course I can't write them all!
First of all, I got questions about whether this is a personal thing with Kersti that she just wants to stop this adoption no matter what. I can't list all the reasons why, but we definitely have enough information to know for sure that it's not personal. This is a country-wide problem from a misunderstanding and story that basically ran wild, and the story did not originally come from Kersti. All of the Russian children adoptions are on hold until this is resolved, not just ours. So resolving this would mean helping all of the Russian kids in Estonia.
By the way, we also learned enough details to marginally justify the kids having been given Russian citizenship. It might have been debatable on a number of topics, but it's too late now. They have Russian citizenship and dissolving it, even based on legal reasons, would be nearly impossible because that would mean involving Russia. Which obviously we're trying NOT to do.
The news from Liina today is basically this:
The bilateral agreement misunderstanding basically came from a diplomatic letter that was sent to the Estonian internal affairs office from Russia a long time ago, which was read and commented on in a letter to the MSA from someone at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs (hereafter "MFA"). Both letters were very vague, and said that the bilateral agreement should be taken into consideration in regard to adoption of Russian citizens. No one looked into the law to check for exceptions. The primary exception being that it doesn't apply when the kids are going out of Estonia.
In the meantime, Kersti and the entire MSA, as well as the Citizenship and Migration Board, and other organizations in Estonia all came to believe that the consent from Russia was necessary for ALL adoptions of Russian children. From this came other stories about what the Russian Embassy is doing and saying, which can't be confirmed without risking inadvertently making the Russian Embassy interested in something they probably don't even know about now.
But basically Kersti was being told different things from different people and no one was figuring anything out. They came to believe consent was necessary for so many months, that when the lawyer came with all this new information it shook everyone up and now it just has taken a little time for everyone to re-collect their ideas and make a new opinion.
Liina tells me that the MFA legal department is analyzing this as a group - sitting down with all the laws and figuring out whether this adoption applies to us at all. She said they are international law experts and the ones responsible for writing bilateral agreements like this one in question. We expect to get their official response next week, but the unofficial word is that everyone seems to believe that it is very difficult to apply the bilateral agreement to our adoption. If that is what they write officially to the MSA, then the MSA will continue with the adoption. They will do what the MFA says, using that as the basis for setting the procedure to be followed. If the MFA gives a reason why the consent IS needed (which doesn't seem to be likely), then Liina believes that there must be a real reason that she is not considering (which will be outlined in their letter). So basically what they say, goes. If they decide the adoption is legal now, then everything is good and the kids can use old passports (if they have them - Igor is checking that now) and get out of the country with them in their old names. If they don't have them, then they'll get them in their old names before the adoption, I think. If the MFA says consent is needed, then the MSA will be able to communicate with Moscow with a clear expression of what is needed and exactly why. The reason no consent has been received from Russia now is basically the letter that was sent through Dmitry has confused reasons about WHY consent is needed. Which makes the Russians basically be confused and ignore it.
Either way, the MFA will be helping clear this up. The best option is of course that they do write agreeing that the bilateral agreement does not apply to this adoption. That seems now to be the most likely scenario.
It's so nice to finally be getting to the bottom of all this. Liina thinks that it's all crazy that this has gotten so confused, lost in translation, blown out of proportion and took so long to figure out. But if it wasn't for her and Rutt, we wouldn't get anywhere because no one would have considered that they were wrong all this time.
I'll let you all know what we hear between now and the time when the letter comes from the MFA. But all of you please keep us in your prayers. It's a very stressful situation that has taken a huge toll on the whole family, especially us and the kids. Honestly I'm not sure how our nervous systems have survived this long.
Please, let all of this be over soon.
Love,
Molly
I talked to Liina for about a half hour today. I love talking to her, she is very thorough and very determined. She likes to tell me all the details, which I love. But of course I can't write them all!
First of all, I got questions about whether this is a personal thing with Kersti that she just wants to stop this adoption no matter what. I can't list all the reasons why, but we definitely have enough information to know for sure that it's not personal. This is a country-wide problem from a misunderstanding and story that basically ran wild, and the story did not originally come from Kersti. All of the Russian children adoptions are on hold until this is resolved, not just ours. So resolving this would mean helping all of the Russian kids in Estonia.
By the way, we also learned enough details to marginally justify the kids having been given Russian citizenship. It might have been debatable on a number of topics, but it's too late now. They have Russian citizenship and dissolving it, even based on legal reasons, would be nearly impossible because that would mean involving Russia. Which obviously we're trying NOT to do.
The news from Liina today is basically this:
The bilateral agreement misunderstanding basically came from a diplomatic letter that was sent to the Estonian internal affairs office from Russia a long time ago, which was read and commented on in a letter to the MSA from someone at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs (hereafter "MFA"). Both letters were very vague, and said that the bilateral agreement should be taken into consideration in regard to adoption of Russian citizens. No one looked into the law to check for exceptions. The primary exception being that it doesn't apply when the kids are going out of Estonia.
In the meantime, Kersti and the entire MSA, as well as the Citizenship and Migration Board, and other organizations in Estonia all came to believe that the consent from Russia was necessary for ALL adoptions of Russian children. From this came other stories about what the Russian Embassy is doing and saying, which can't be confirmed without risking inadvertently making the Russian Embassy interested in something they probably don't even know about now.
But basically Kersti was being told different things from different people and no one was figuring anything out. They came to believe consent was necessary for so many months, that when the lawyer came with all this new information it shook everyone up and now it just has taken a little time for everyone to re-collect their ideas and make a new opinion.
Liina tells me that the MFA legal department is analyzing this as a group - sitting down with all the laws and figuring out whether this adoption applies to us at all. She said they are international law experts and the ones responsible for writing bilateral agreements like this one in question. We expect to get their official response next week, but the unofficial word is that everyone seems to believe that it is very difficult to apply the bilateral agreement to our adoption. If that is what they write officially to the MSA, then the MSA will continue with the adoption. They will do what the MFA says, using that as the basis for setting the procedure to be followed. If the MFA gives a reason why the consent IS needed (which doesn't seem to be likely), then Liina believes that there must be a real reason that she is not considering (which will be outlined in their letter). So basically what they say, goes. If they decide the adoption is legal now, then everything is good and the kids can use old passports (if they have them - Igor is checking that now) and get out of the country with them in their old names. If they don't have them, then they'll get them in their old names before the adoption, I think. If the MFA says consent is needed, then the MSA will be able to communicate with Moscow with a clear expression of what is needed and exactly why. The reason no consent has been received from Russia now is basically the letter that was sent through Dmitry has confused reasons about WHY consent is needed. Which makes the Russians basically be confused and ignore it.
Either way, the MFA will be helping clear this up. The best option is of course that they do write agreeing that the bilateral agreement does not apply to this adoption. That seems now to be the most likely scenario.
It's so nice to finally be getting to the bottom of all this. Liina thinks that it's all crazy that this has gotten so confused, lost in translation, blown out of proportion and took so long to figure out. But if it wasn't for her and Rutt, we wouldn't get anywhere because no one would have considered that they were wrong all this time.
I'll let you all know what we hear between now and the time when the letter comes from the MFA. But all of you please keep us in your prayers. It's a very stressful situation that has taken a huge toll on the whole family, especially us and the kids. Honestly I'm not sure how our nervous systems have survived this long.
Please, let all of this be over soon.
Love,
Molly
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Foreign Affairs & Phobias.
Hey everyone!
Well first of all I made Jason promise to upload the camera onto the computer this week so I can appease you all. I don't have any recent pictures on the computer because 1) our computer broke and we just got a new one and 2) the camera memory card holds like 150,000,000,000,000 pictures so sometimes Jason doesn't bother uploading them. And honestly, I don't mess with his fancy camera much so I don't know the way he wants it done. Never come between a man and his Nikon. Sheesh.
Update on everything:
I keep forgetting what I wrote before and what you already know because things change so often. I can't even write all the details. But basically the lawyer (Liina, who is Rutt's partner - Rutt was on vacation last week) found out that a guy she needs to speak to at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, who needs to weigh-in on the legal questions, has been out of town. So he's back this week and the lawyer plans to talk to him asap. As I mentioned in my last post, Kersti is supposedly under the impression that the Russian Embassy will not give the kids travel documents after their adoption. She told the lawyers the reason is they will know they are traveling for adoption because their last name will be changed (to ours). Sooooo naturally we came up with a brilliant idea that NO ONE could have EVER thought of in a MILLION years... Why not just NOT CHANGE THEIR NAMES?! Duh. So Kersti said that since no adoptive families ever decide to leave the kids bio names in place, she didn't know if it's possible. Liina explained that the law does not require us to change their names. (Clearly indicated in the "Names" act, of all places.) Liina told me that while Kersti is open minded about some things, she's not so much open minded about what the laws allow. Just because it doesn't say "The family may choose to leave the child's name the same," she's not sure if we're allowed. It just says that we "may" change their first and last names. We don't have to. So to be sure, Kersti is checking with the birth certificate office and the court to make sure that is acceptable.
So today we got an email from Kersti, through Diana, saying that there are other issues with the Embassy. The email wasn't really understandable, but it seems like Kersti has heard from another person somewhere that the Russian Embassy isn't allowing ANY adoptions of Russian children in Estonia without consent from Russia, even if a new husband wants to adopt his wife's child in Estonia. I don't know how that's possible, since that means that the Russian Embassy would be going against all the laws of Estonia to take that kind of authority. Kersti said she doesn't have anything official from the Embassy about all this, though, so it's likely not true or at least that's not all there is to it.
Liina told me today that she also received an email from Kersti that she didn't really understand, so she's going to speak to her tomorrow.
In the meantime, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and the Ministry of Justice will soon (as they say) be investigating the laws and replying to the attorney about how the Russian-Estonia bilateral agreement should or should not be applied. I try not to worry about that because the agreement is pretty clear. I don't know how they could misinterpret it also, if they just read it. Hopefully once that is cleared up, then it won't matter whether the Russian Embassy is imposing ridiculous restrictions on the travel and/or adoption of Russian children.
Lots of craziness and frustration and finger pointing going on, and a lot more detail (all of which has already been researched and is very understood by us and the lawyers, so don't worry about telling us all the reasons why Kersti's concerns are totally without any sense at all), but that's basically the deal.
This week we will hopefully hear something from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and hopefully also clear up what in the world is really going on at the Russian Embassy.
Now for Anna news! Anna's doing really well in school, although she occasionally gets in trouble for being silly (talking during class, etc.). Her English is more and more coherent and her sentences are becoming more complete and correct.
She has bad days here and there where she is disrespectful or argumentative, but not often. She bounces out of it with a little help (consequence!) and talking to her about it. She also occasionally white-lies. Like that her teacher told her that we can just TELL her the answers to her math homework. Or she can use a calculator and that's ok too.
She tests us in a new and exciting way sometimes. The other night she completely lost her mind because she had left her bedside lamp on and that meant that she couldn't have her lamp that night. She sometimes sleeps with no light (by choice) and has once before lost her lamp for forgetting to turn it off in the morning. We imposed this rule, by the way, after reminding her a million times and her already burning out a bulb from not turning it off. But this night she went nuts wailing about being afraid of the dark. So we told her (not wanting her to be legitimately terrified) that while we could not give back her night lamp just because she was crying (which would only teach her to wail when she doesn't get her way, whether she's really scared next time or not), that she could leave her ceiling light on that night if she was really scared. She didn't want to do that, because it wasn't the same as the lamp. Which told me that she was only checking to see if she freaks out, if we'll give in. Otherwise she would have jumped at the chance to have ANY light on. After a few minutes, she gave up and agreed to sleep with the ceiling light on, which was off before morning. Naturally she's not forgotten to turn off her lamp since then, and doesn't try crying hysterically to get her way. But you want to know why she tried it? Because there was one time where I let her have one more chance with the lamp instead of making her sleep without it when she was supposed to. She even said "But mom said if I forget two times, then no lamp for one night!" Noooo I did not. But guess what - kids DO, in fact, keep score! LOL
Rest assured, she was not traumatized in the slightest from the experience!
She is slightly traumatized, however, about her beloved Chloe the Hamster, who spontaneously died on Saturday. :( Sad news. For you hamster-experienced people: no, she did not have wet-tail. We don't know what happened to her. Although Jason was tempted to tell her that it was because of having too much light at night. (*Trying not to chuckle*)
That's all the news for now. More soon I hope!
Love,
Molly
Well first of all I made Jason promise to upload the camera onto the computer this week so I can appease you all. I don't have any recent pictures on the computer because 1) our computer broke and we just got a new one and 2) the camera memory card holds like 150,000,000,000,000 pictures so sometimes Jason doesn't bother uploading them. And honestly, I don't mess with his fancy camera much so I don't know the way he wants it done. Never come between a man and his Nikon. Sheesh.
Update on everything:
I keep forgetting what I wrote before and what you already know because things change so often. I can't even write all the details. But basically the lawyer (Liina, who is Rutt's partner - Rutt was on vacation last week) found out that a guy she needs to speak to at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, who needs to weigh-in on the legal questions, has been out of town. So he's back this week and the lawyer plans to talk to him asap. As I mentioned in my last post, Kersti is supposedly under the impression that the Russian Embassy will not give the kids travel documents after their adoption. She told the lawyers the reason is they will know they are traveling for adoption because their last name will be changed (to ours). Sooooo naturally we came up with a brilliant idea that NO ONE could have EVER thought of in a MILLION years... Why not just NOT CHANGE THEIR NAMES?! Duh. So Kersti said that since no adoptive families ever decide to leave the kids bio names in place, she didn't know if it's possible. Liina explained that the law does not require us to change their names. (Clearly indicated in the "Names" act, of all places.) Liina told me that while Kersti is open minded about some things, she's not so much open minded about what the laws allow. Just because it doesn't say "The family may choose to leave the child's name the same," she's not sure if we're allowed. It just says that we "may" change their first and last names. We don't have to. So to be sure, Kersti is checking with the birth certificate office and the court to make sure that is acceptable.
So today we got an email from Kersti, through Diana, saying that there are other issues with the Embassy. The email wasn't really understandable, but it seems like Kersti has heard from another person somewhere that the Russian Embassy isn't allowing ANY adoptions of Russian children in Estonia without consent from Russia, even if a new husband wants to adopt his wife's child in Estonia. I don't know how that's possible, since that means that the Russian Embassy would be going against all the laws of Estonia to take that kind of authority. Kersti said she doesn't have anything official from the Embassy about all this, though, so it's likely not true or at least that's not all there is to it.
Liina told me today that she also received an email from Kersti that she didn't really understand, so she's going to speak to her tomorrow.
In the meantime, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and the Ministry of Justice will soon (as they say) be investigating the laws and replying to the attorney about how the Russian-Estonia bilateral agreement should or should not be applied. I try not to worry about that because the agreement is pretty clear. I don't know how they could misinterpret it also, if they just read it. Hopefully once that is cleared up, then it won't matter whether the Russian Embassy is imposing ridiculous restrictions on the travel and/or adoption of Russian children.
Lots of craziness and frustration and finger pointing going on, and a lot more detail (all of which has already been researched and is very understood by us and the lawyers, so don't worry about telling us all the reasons why Kersti's concerns are totally without any sense at all), but that's basically the deal.
This week we will hopefully hear something from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and hopefully also clear up what in the world is really going on at the Russian Embassy.
Now for Anna news! Anna's doing really well in school, although she occasionally gets in trouble for being silly (talking during class, etc.). Her English is more and more coherent and her sentences are becoming more complete and correct.
She has bad days here and there where she is disrespectful or argumentative, but not often. She bounces out of it with a little help (consequence!) and talking to her about it. She also occasionally white-lies. Like that her teacher told her that we can just TELL her the answers to her math homework. Or she can use a calculator and that's ok too.
She tests us in a new and exciting way sometimes. The other night she completely lost her mind because she had left her bedside lamp on and that meant that she couldn't have her lamp that night. She sometimes sleeps with no light (by choice) and has once before lost her lamp for forgetting to turn it off in the morning. We imposed this rule, by the way, after reminding her a million times and her already burning out a bulb from not turning it off. But this night she went nuts wailing about being afraid of the dark. So we told her (not wanting her to be legitimately terrified) that while we could not give back her night lamp just because she was crying (which would only teach her to wail when she doesn't get her way, whether she's really scared next time or not), that she could leave her ceiling light on that night if she was really scared. She didn't want to do that, because it wasn't the same as the lamp. Which told me that she was only checking to see if she freaks out, if we'll give in. Otherwise she would have jumped at the chance to have ANY light on. After a few minutes, she gave up and agreed to sleep with the ceiling light on, which was off before morning. Naturally she's not forgotten to turn off her lamp since then, and doesn't try crying hysterically to get her way. But you want to know why she tried it? Because there was one time where I let her have one more chance with the lamp instead of making her sleep without it when she was supposed to. She even said "But mom said if I forget two times, then no lamp for one night!" Noooo I did not. But guess what - kids DO, in fact, keep score! LOL
Rest assured, she was not traumatized in the slightest from the experience!
She is slightly traumatized, however, about her beloved Chloe the Hamster, who spontaneously died on Saturday. :( Sad news. For you hamster-experienced people: no, she did not have wet-tail. We don't know what happened to her. Although Jason was tempted to tell her that it was because of having too much light at night. (*Trying not to chuckle*)
That's all the news for now. More soon I hope!
Love,
Molly
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